​Lock me up, throw away the key but leave me the wine!

​"In the female prison, there were 70 women and I wish it was with them that I did dwell".
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By An Occasional Tipple with Raymond Gleug
Published 12th Aug 2023, 10:00 BST

So wrote Dick Shannon in his glorious prison ballad, The Auld Triangle. Well, my count stopped well short of 70 but there were certainly a fair number of beautiful women in Crumlin Road Gaol where I was incarcerated for a couple of pleasant hours last Tuesday. Naturally, I only had eyes for one of the lovely women imprisoned alongside me - my darling wife, the redoubtable Madame G.

We had been invited to Crumlin Road Gaol by United Wine Merchants who were launching a range of wines called Beefsteak with a barbecue, a wine tasting and a prison tour for their assembled guests. I'll be honest, the prison tour was fascinating but spooky too - it gave my Madame the creeps but I loved it. No mixed reviews about either the food or the wine. We enjoyed a zesty, elegant and refreshing Beefsteak Malbec Rose, a fresh, fragrant and complex Beefsteak Sauvignon Blanc and, finally, with our burgers, the soft, supple and aromatic Beefsteak Malbec. They even sent us home with a goodie bag containing several cans of Malbec which I was a bit dubious about but it turns out that once you transfer the wine from the can to the glass it tastes just as good as if it were from a bottle. You'll find Beefsteak wines starting to appear in independent wine shops, off-licences, restaurants and bars - well worth checking out.

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You may have noticed the sun making a few brief appearances between the showers. When that happens I immediately reach for a glass of chilled white wine and take it out to the garden of our lovely home, Rose Cottage, to enjoy in the company of my plants and flowers and even, occasionally, my Madame. First among equals but just about gaining the nod to be sure to be sure as today's Wine of the Week is the the taut, bone dry and very juicy 2021 Lidl Gavi (£7.99). This refreshing Italian white has complexity and depth with pear and more subtle fennel favours on its opulent palate and an intensely fruity bouquet before a brief, tingly and discreetly acidic finish. Foodwise, this is a versatile white though we enjoyed ours, somewhat predictably, with grilled trout, new potatoes and a medley of seasonal vegetables.

An Occasional Tipple with Raymond GleugAn Occasional Tipple with Raymond Gleug
An Occasional Tipple with Raymond Gleug

Our host at the gaol mentioned that rose wine now accounts for more than 10% of wine sales in the UK, a figure which I surmise rises to about 25% when the sun deigns to shine. In the hope of such an event today's second recommendation is the gloriously upbeat, refined and racy 2021 Tempus Two Quartz Series Rose (supplied by United Wine Merchants typically £5-£7). This delicate, salmon-pink rose is packed with rose petal, strawberry and tangy forest fruit flavours which are complemented by backnotes suggestive of lemony biscuits. My beloved wife, the redoubtable Madame G. and I, had ours out on the patio of our lovely home, Rose Cottage, with salmon, noodles and an Asian-style stir-fry.

Today's final selection is the flavoursome, gluggable and delightfully dry 2021 Collin Bourisset Fleurie (£8.99, Lidl). Bright raspberry, plum and strawberry flavours jostle amiably for your attention alongside notes of wild violets on a complex, intriguing palate before a luxurious, lengthy finish with hints of coffee and dark bitter chocolate. Serve it lightly chilled with roast chicken some sunny Sunday.

So it was nice to be in prison but it was better to escape. Till next week, tipplers, if they haven't locked me up, sante!