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Julian picks his top ten TV moments

The Sooty Show When I was very young, my favourite TV moment was the end of The Sooty Show because Sooty's Creator Harry Corbett was always left sitting in the midst of the total carnage that Sooty had created.

He would be covered in flour, eggs, paint or some other gooey mess and Sooty would be absolutely spotless.

Looking thoroughly fed up and exhausted, Harry Corbett would always say: "Bye bye everybody, bye bye."

I laughed every time.

Little Nell performs Do The Swim

This is a classic clip in which a girl modelling a one-piece swimsuit is stretched out, face down on the floor and making swimming motions as she sings a song.

Unfortunately, the swimsuit is rather tight and, as a result, both her boobs pop out halfway through the second verse.

Totally unaware, the girl sings on, continuing her swimming motion until, after a couple of verses, she suddenly looks down.

Mortified or what!

Charles and Di get married

When Lady Diana and Prince Charles were getting married there was much hype about her wedding dress in the run up to the big day.

It was a closely guarded secret – everyone was wondering what the fairytale gown was going to look like.

Was it going to be cream, white or gold? Would it have a long train?

Speculation was at fever pitch when the wedding day eventually dawned.

When the royal coach stopped at the bottom of the steps at St Paul's Cathedral all the fashionistas of the world were on the edge of their seats.

The royal correspondents and reporters prepared to launch into ecstatic prose about the wonderful, magnificent gown.

As Diana stepped out of the coach, my first reaction was "oh, they will pull that old dust cover off the top of the wedding dress once she gets herself straightened".

As we now know, that was no dust cover, it was the gown – creased, rucked and crinkled!

It looked as if Lady Diana has slept in it and then been pulled through a hedge backwards.

"Er, er, ravishing" said a commentator

"Yes, er, indeed...exquisite," said another.

And the united global gasp of "fabulous darling, fabulous!" went around the world.

Talk about the emperor's new clothes!

Sophie Anderton on Celebrity Love Island.

I have to admit I took great delight at the antics of Celebrity Love Island contestant Sophie 'Ambulance' Anderton.

She is so nicknamed because, throughout the series, her conversation resembled an emergency vehicle en route to an incident – "Me, me, me, me, me, me!"

So deluded was this female about her own importance that, in the wake of one of her bust-ups with a fellow islander, she spat "just wait till London hears about THIS!"

Indeed, as we speak, the residents of the big smoke are still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives as a result of Miss Anderton's discomforts on Love Island.

Chelsea Vs Liverpool – The Champions' League Semi-final.

Naturally, all us big hard guys love our football! So a recent big TV highlight for me was the now-legendary Champions' League semi-final second leg between Liverpool and Chelsea.

The seemingly endless action-packed match went to penalties, Liverpool won and, after ten pints of 'Bauss' to celebrate, we all went to bed like rung-out rags.

(My friend Scott Parker told me to put this one in my top ten to give me a bit of street cred and make it sound like I have my finger on the pulse of hot football action.)

Coronation Street – Curly and Raquel

Of course I have to mention Coronation Street!

My next TV moment was the dramatic episode which featured just two characters, Curly Watts and his estranged wife Raquel, who turned up out of the blue after a long absence from weatherfield.

It was the Millennium eve and, against the distant background noise of people celebrating, they sat alone in Curly's front room and talked about their failed relationship.

They said they still had feelings for each other, even though Raquel was now involved with Armand, whom she was living with in a French chateau.

Armand wanted to marry Raquel and the purpose of her visit was to ask Curly for a divorce.

She also told Curly that he was a father – she had given birth to their daughter, Alice Diana, nearly four years earlier, after their separation.

Like many other viewers, I sat and bawled buckets!

But it was a wonderfully dramatic episode.

Coronation Street – Eileen versus Gail

Staying with Corrie, what about the catfight on the cobbles between big Eileen out of the taxis and Gail Platt?

The simmering hostility between both 'ladies' came to the boil over the antics of their dysfunctional families.

The handfuls of hair flew in the air, and they rolled over and over in the street, punching the lights out of each other in their dressing gowns.

Imagine big Eileen getting on top of you – all Gail's organs must have been crushed to a pulp!

The Kelly Show

I used to have a theatrical box in the corner of The Kelly Show which I would invite guests to each week.

Two women from Carrickfergus wrote to me saying they'd never had a night out and they'd love to come to UTV, so we duly sent them invitations to The Kelly Show.

The day came but no-one had announced their arrival so they just wandered into UTV and on into the canteen, where the wine had been poured out for guests.

So they got stuck into that and had about four glasses each before they were discovered and brought to the green room.

They had more drink in there before they were brought to the box to wait for me and by the time we met them they were well gone.

I served champagne to all my guests as the show was going on – but I noticed they were a bit cross-eyed, still they kept thrusting their glasses back for more.

Then, just as Gerry Kelly was interviewing Freddie Mercury's former lover and you could have heard a pin drop in the studio, the smaller woman of the two said in a thick carrickfergus accent: "Julian, my friend has to get a pish".

People were turning around and shushing us but she was insisting that her friend had to use the bathroom.

While this was going on her friend turned round and boaked – but it was all just champagne, thank goodness no dinner came up.

To cut a long story short, the floor manager had to relent and let these two go down the stairs – where you could hear the click of stilettos – across the studio and to the toilet.

Of course, once that happened everyone else wanted to go, so people began streaming out when Gerry was trying to conduct this very intimate interview.

Then, when the cameras turned to me in the box to show me having a good time with my guests, I'm standing there alone like the Pope on a balcony.

Later on, at about 3am, security found the two women alseep behind a sofa in the green room.

At least they had a good night out.

Ivan Little's phenomenon.

Ivan is a great mixture of intellect and humour. He's a great all-rounder and not a guy who is easily put off, so to watch him struggle with the word 'phenomenon' was hilarious for me.

It's a famous out-take – every time he tries to say the word either he can't do it or something happens behind him.

You can see the frustration building in him until eventually he snaps and just uses another word.

My first time on TV

The first time I appeared on TV I'd come in to UTV for six weeks' trial and, for the next four weeks, I was allowed to be 'in vision'.

I will never forget how absolutely terrified I was, and how exposed I felt, when the light on the camera went on and I had to not only remember what I was going to say but also had to say it in a certain amount of time.

My knees were knocking together and my voice was wavering because I was so nervous.

I was like a rabbit in the headlights, introducing an afternoon show called The Cedar Tree – you started off in the afternoon before moving up to the evening shows.

Not a great moment for me, and probably not for the viewers who were watching and wondering who this plonker was.

But I'm still here and, thankfully, not as nervous anymore.

n Julian hosts Rewind on UTV tonight at 8pm.

 
 
 

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