There’s a crazy little cure called wine

Watching the clock tick and my bill mount, a cold sweat came over me as my legs turned to jelly and I started to feel ever more nauseous.

Soon I was shivering and my heart pounding - beset by a discombobulating mixture of immediate anxiety and an awful creeping dread.

I just about managed to drive back to my lovely home, Rose Cottage, where I quickly grabbed a lateral flow test which confirmed my worst suspicions. Yes, tipplers, you’ve guessed it, I was suffering from car-owner virus. Boom boom!

Luckily, a local posse of amateur scientists have found a vaccine which they recommend taking in moderate doses and not too frequently.

Three or four glasses per day seems about the optimal amount with one or maybe even two days off in seven (outside of holidays and festive occasions).

Today’s Vaccine of the Week is what was known in the old normal as wine - namely, the decadently rich, full-bodied and impressively flavoursome 2018 Koyle Cerro Basalto Garnatxa (£14.95, visit www.thewinesociety.com or telephone 01438-741177).

Ripe, muscular blackberry flavours, a warm, tangy palate and a spicy, judiciously oaked finish combine to create a robust, jammy and quite old-fashioned but thoroughly seductive Chilean red.

One for Beef Bourgignon or even Irish Stew if you have any left over from your Paddy’s Day celebrations.

The only problem with this vaccine is that its effects are quite short-lived and you’ll feel the need for a booster within one or, at most, two days. Today’s second recommendation is the bold, sleek and reassuringly complex 2019 Rastras Malbec (£7.50, Marks & Spencers).

This plummy, savoury and elegant Argentinian red has an opulent palate full of tangy blackberry flavours and earthy, pungent spices which are nicely balanced by firm tannins before a lingering finish with hints of oak, vanilla and lick-your lips liquorice.

One for roast beef or lamb, with delicious vegetables and triple baked potatoes this Sunday.

For every AstroZeneca there’s a Pfizer and for every fabulous red wine there is always an equally delightful bottle of white.

Today’s final recommendation is the finely scented, delightfully dry and satisfyingly savoury 2020 Tempus Two Chardonnay (widely available in independent wine shops and off-licences, £7 to £9).

This complex white has a vibrantly aromatic bouquet - full of peach and tarragon flavours before a plump, citrussy palate and a clean tingly finish. Plenty of lemony zip and almondy bite, it will be a very easy-drinking companion to roast chicken or even a mildly spiced Asian curry from the local take-away.

“You know, mon cher Raymond?” my beloved French wife, the redoubtable Madame G. interjects with a wink and a coy smile, “there is another antidote to that awful virus... it’s a crazy little thing called lurve...”.

Well, I suppose the scientists do recommend only taking the vaccine five or six days a week, outside of holidays and festive occasions.

Well, that does leave a little bit of room for love.

So, why not do what the scientists say..and indulge in romance as well?

Till next week, tipplers, stay safe and sante!

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