Newly refurbished ‘B&B’ opened in Lurgan Police Station

New cells at Lurgan Police Station get interesting review
New cells at Lurgan Police Station get interesting review
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A refurbished six bedroom ‘exclusive B&B’ has opened in Lurgan police station, for those eager for an arresting time at Christmas.

In a tongue and cheek post, PSNI Craigavon revealed that their newly refurbished cells, aptly named ‘The Lock and Key’ are open for business.

Until recently there was limited accommodation in Lurgan with some prisoners having to be transferred to cells in Banbridge or further afield.

On their Facebook page, PSNI Craigavon said: “After a lengthy refurbishment process, our boutique town centre accommodation has reopened today!

“Our six bedroom B&B could be described as ‘exclusive’ to the extent that it is impossible to book a room in advance.

“Our guests are chosen based on their standard of behaviour, and are escorted to our highly secure premises by officers in chauffeur driven vehicles. After a detailed check in process, our guests can expect the highest quality of service, including:

-Ready meals that don’t have to be kept refrigerated, and have a best before date 18 months down the line.

-Supervised toilet visits.

-A free photo shoot with our porters.

-Assistance getting changed.

-A cold shower which would remind you of a dripping tap.

“If you have any nominations to be amongst our first guests, and you believe their standard of behaviour is fitting of our criteria, then give us a call on 101 and tell us about it.

“Such behaviour could include; domestic offenders, burglars, drug dealers, drink drivers, thieves and drunken brawlers amongst others.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, our staff look forward to welcoming you to the latest addition to the Lurgan hospitality scene. You will be made very welcome at...The Lock and Key!”