Dilemma of a father with a severe suit phobia

As I write, the uncertainty over Meghan Markle's dad Thomas being able to give her away today continues.
Sandra ChapmanSandra Chapman
Sandra Chapman

The last few days have been a rollercoaster for the former Suits star but I had my own wedding troubles nearly half a century ago, all down to the suit my own father reluctantly wore on the day.

This week, on May 15, Himself and I celebrated 49 years of married life and I recall my own anxious moments in the run up to our big day.

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Not a man to own, or ever want to own, a suit my dad studiously avoided all talk of him having to wear one for the event.

Sandra on her wedding day and her father wearing his new suitSandra on her wedding day and her father wearing his new suit
Sandra on her wedding day and her father wearing his new suit

Nothing of his in the family wardrobe would pass muster on my big day so I had to detach myself from the rest of the last minute arrangements to sort out the issue of The Suit.

It wasn’t helped by my father heading out the door once the subject was raised. So my mother and I came to the conclusion a suit would have to be bought without him visiting the shop to see if it even fitted.

My father was a slightly built man and I had the devil of a job working out how I would explain his size to a shop owner.

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With not long to get the issue sorted I gave him an ultimatum which must have been something of a crisis for him because he decided he would need a few drinks to bolster his confidence.

And that is why less than 24 hours later, lest he changed his mind, I was sitting in a bus beside my slightly drunk father heading to the nearest town’s man shop.

My troubles were just beginning. Once inside he refused point blank to try anything on assuring me that what I’d pick would do him fine.

I always knew he would never want the formal suit with white shirt and bow-tie. Sure didn’t he spend his life in odds and sods of clothes none of which ever matched?

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I suppose, for his generation the ‘good’ suit was something they may have worn at their own wedding, thereafter it would lie around in the wardrobe only to be brought out for their funeral.

The fate of his own wedding suit was always a family mystery

We got the bus home, me carrying the suit wrapped up in brown paper (no plastic bags then), my father clearly delighted he had got away with not having to try it on (the shop owner judged his size accurately).

I had chosen a softly coloured grey suit with a subtle pattern as my dad had fair colouring – with just 30 guests as I had dispensed with formality for my big day – and I judged, correctly, that he would look fine in it.

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On the day itself he became a bit picky about having to wear a button-hole, but I insisted.

Indeed my mother who was never sure what her husband would do next, was so uptight over his antics she ended up at the church minus her own button-hole, forever after blaming my father for causing her to forget it, refusing to look at any wedding photos she was in all dressed up but with no flower on the lapel.

I wasn’t 100 per cent certain that my father, quite a shy man in fact, wouldn’t at the last minute get cold feet and not want to walk me up the aisle so I decided, without telling him, that he would walk me up the rear aisle of the church instead of the main aisle which meant we weren’t facing the guests who would have to turn around to see us coming.

He would still be unable to avoid the onlookers at the front gate but he seemed to realise that there could be no more excuses and from that point onwards I think he enjoyed his day out in his new suit which I have no recollection of him wearing ever again.

I wish the Royal couple a very happy life.

And hopefully, they will get to enjoy their 50th anniversary which, for me is next year.

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