End is nigh if Trump takes White House

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump or Dougal from the Magic Roundabout
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump or Dougal from the Magic Roundabout

Can somebody please do something quickly to stop the egregiously cretinous, patently xenophobic, profit-obsessed, fascist comb-over Donald Trump, he who is clearly appealing to wizards of the Ku Klux Klan and possibly beloved of the anti-Christ himself, from becoming leader of the free world before it’s too late?

Puffed up and pomaded on the campaign trail, the brash businessman and professional windbag has been espousing a disturbing mix of empty patriotism and right-wing bile, vowing to deport millions of illegal immigrants and to build huge walls on the Mexican border to keep ‘losers’ with their poverty and problems firmly out of US territory.

Better still he’s been vowing to refuse to let Muslims into the country altogether, as though Islam were basically synonymous with depraved ISIS terrorists, he’s against gun control, is on record as saying he aims to pay as little tax as possible despite his inordinate wealth and he’s managed to be so relentlessly offensive that even Pope Francis has described him, with mighty restraint, as unchristian in his desire to build walls as opposed to bridges.

Trump represents an ethic of rampantly selfish individualism where the winner takes all and the poor can go to hell in a handcart so long as they don’t disrupt the party.

He embodies the rapacious ambition, egotism and dire enslavement to the pursuit of profit that is at the very heart of the American dream - an essentially empty celebration of capitalist greed, cheeseburgers and the Star Spangled Banner.

‘The Donald’ - who has raked in 316 delegates so far, making him the frontrunner for the Republican candidacy ahead of Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, is a ruddy-cheeked stooge who seems to have absolutely no concept of his own ridiculousness and has decided the White House is his for the taking if he just keeps repeating tellingly vague soundbites about making ‘America great again’ and keeping the ‘losers out’.

The trouble is that the self-made billionare easily seduces the media because he is so altogether ludicrous that nobody who is rational can quite believe it. But hysteria and a bizarre respect for unjustifiably confident morons with expensive veneers has long trumped (sorry) rational decision-making among voters and this man is proving disturbingly seductive to the Republican gullible.

Naturally he has already been variously derided by right-thinking men and women as dangerous, uninformed, liable to lead America into a recession, a threat to democracy, a phony and a fraud who takes the US public for a ‘bunch of suckers’ and is an outright ignoramus on matters of foreign policy.

Establishment experts have roundly dismissed Trump’s vision of American influence and power internationally as “wildly inconsistent and unmoored in principle,” swinging “from isolationism to military adventurism within the space of one sentence”.

This should set alarm bells ringing.

I’m thinking immediately of Hitler, North Korea and a gruesome image: Donald Trump deciding matters of foreign policy from a Jacuzzi in the Oval Office, sporting a mankini and smiling broadly from beneath his umpteenth hair transplant as the four horsemen of the apocalpyse gallop over Capitol Hill.