I’ve had a fabulous Christmas; it was spent in wonderful overindulgence. When it came to food, wine and chocolates I filled my boots up with gusto, knowing that the New Year was my deadline to bring moderation in all things into my life.
Now I’ve put away the Christmas decorations, ingested my last turkey sandwich, hoovered up the tinsel and cried after getting on the scales. I have gained an enormous amount of weight during the holidays (a personal best!)
Now days of calorie counting and abstinence lie ahead and I wish I hadn’t been so gung-ho with my culinary celebrations. I told myself through Christmas to just enjoy myself as I would get into shape in the New Year.
I hit the Quality Street with gay abandon, safe in the knowledge that the new year would bring a fitter more health conscious me. Now it’s time to face the music and dance and the truth is, if I may borrow the words of the Scissor Sisters; ‘I don’t feel like dancing’. I have gone from elation to deflation.
I feel as flat as a pancake emotionally; I’m demotivated and hate the party’s over atmosphere that January has brought with it. Most women I know are feeling exactly the same.
New research has revealed that females are 50 per cent more likely to suffer from the winter blues than men. Thirty-seven per cent of women surveyed struggle to get motivated in cold months compared to 28 per cent of males.
Science blames it on hormonal differences stating that women are more likely to feel increased sensitivity to seasonal changes. Personally I like to blame Gwyneth Paltrow for my blues, and not just Gwyneth, but that pesky Davina McCall as well.
No matter where you look Davina is plugging her latest in a long line of fitness videos. I almost bought her DVD after her appearance on Loose Women this week when she enthusiastically extolled the benefits of fitness without actually looking in the direction of Coleen Nolan. Coleen sat beside her looking sheepish and it was then that I remembered buying Coleen’s exercise DVD a few years back, when she had shrunk from a big size to a smaller one.
Coleen obviously couldn’t stick the pace as she is back up to being a fine big girl again. Personally I’ve found some great walking videos on You tube by Leslie Sansone. They are easy, doable and don’t make you feel like you’re about to have a cardiac arrest, my eight-year-old son loves doing them too and they’re free, but back to celebs from Smugsville.
It’s smug celebrities like Davina and Co. who make the rest of us feel rather down about ourselves. They have no idea what it is to be overweight. Davina told a story of how she used to eat her children’s sweets before she began getting into fitness. Who hasn’t I asked myself? I’ve never seen fat pictures of Davina.
She admitted she hadn’t overindulged at all over Christmas, then tells us over-indulgers to get up and get moving when all most of us want to do is curl up in a little ball with a packet of Hobnobs and await Spring.
Worse than Davina is the bland bombshell Gwyneth Paltrow, I have had an aversion to Gwynie ever since I read her account of how she almost died from eating a French fry; she said her body went into crisis, much like mine does when eating salad.
Gwyneth has been taking up newspaper space advising us mere mortals on how to look like her goddess-like self. She suggests you kick off your detox with a colonic, then just say no to alcohol, caffeine, added sugar, gluten, dairy, soy, corn, potatoes, tomatoes and aubergine, simples! The woman is asking us to consciously uncouple from what I regard as most of the major food groups.
Personally, I couldn’t follow this tough regime of hers, my idea of a balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand! Unfortunately if we want to look good in our swimsuits come the summer holidays then we must change our dietary ways. I’m really hacked off at the thought of giving up my treats but I must try to rectify what my Christmas overeating crimes have done to me, though not with Gwyneth’s recommended colonics! I shall follow the simple mantra of eat less and move more. Like many, I have exceeded the feed limit, now it’s time to pay the price, that knowledge in itself is enough to bring on the winter blues.