‘‘Mum what’s that up there?’’ my son asked pointing at the huge box on top of my wardrobe.
‘‘It’s my wedding dress,’’ I responded getting all misty-eyed.
‘‘Oh, right,’’ he said uninterested.
‘‘Your dad and I will be married 10 years in a few weeks, gosh time flies!’’ I sighed as my memory returned to that humid August day in 2005.
‘‘The dress had a huge train and I wore a tiara and a veil covered in ruby rhinestones,’’ I went on.
‘‘Right,’’ he yawned.
‘‘I’d dreamed of my wedding day since I was a child,’’ I continued, staring off into the distance.
‘‘That’s good mum,’’ he said edging towards the door.
‘‘Did you think mummy looked nice in her dress?’’ I asked lifting the wedding photo off my dressing table to show him, but it was too late, he’d made a run for it. I’d bored him out of the room.
I sat alone with my thoughts, staring at the eight stone bride with the 24 inch waist (there’s no relevance to this, I just really wanted you to know I was once this slender).
I have regrets about getting married. It wasn’t the ‘happiest day of your life’ gig it’s popularly billed as for me. My biggest regret is not my choice of husband, but my choice of dress and also the incompetent photographer I selected to capture the day.
I really wish we’d had a video too. Our wedding album is frankly, hideous! There are lots of photos of us standing beside ugly doors. I have my eyes closed in most of the shots.
The photographer said he could digitally superimpose eyes over my closed ones. This resulted in the illusion that my husband had just married Cyclops in our wedding snaps.
In the few with my eyes open, my husband and I are staring daggers at the photographer because of the unhealthy interest he was taking in our teenage nieces. He practically chased them around the hotel taking snaps of them with my husband and me in hot pursuit, Benny Hill style. To borrow the words of Craig Revel-Horwood, it was a disaster darling!
Looking at the photo in my hand I felt the now familiar stirrings of regret looking at my wedding gown. I had no part in selecting the dress at all. It was the third one I tried on in the first shop.
I had always wanted a figure hugging mermaid style but through the advice of the rather dominating bridal shop owner, I ended up in a massive A-line number with a huge train and scarlet rosebuds embroidered on the bodice.
The choice was entirely hers. It appears I also had my eyes closed whilst making the dress selection! Petite brides need an A-line shape she advised. After watching back-to-back episodes of wedding dress shopping shows like Say Yes to the Dress and I Found the Gown, I know now this is untrue.
Being five feet in height, I was drowned in that dress. It was just two months to my wedding and I had no idea a dress had to be ordered and made, so I had to buy a sample gown and have it altered.
Brides beware, bridal gown sellers know that once they put that veil and tiara on, you’re powerless to resist!
Once the Swarovski tiara and rhinestone encrusted veil was placed on my head it was like a magic spell had been cast over me.
I felt like a princess bride and everyone around me started oohing and aahing, my dad shed a tear, and I was sold. I think this is perhaps what happens to lots of brides, they fall in love with the veil then say yes to the dress.
In a survey of 1,000 women 82 per cent admitted there were things about their wedding they would change. Thirty-two per cent of brides cringe when they look back on their dress and would definitely make a different choice given the chance.
Even celebrities wish they had done things differently. Cate Blanchett regrets not having any photos at all of her wedding day and Sarah Jessica Parker desperately wishes she had stuck to tradition and worn a white wedding dress when she married Matthew Broderick in 1997, instead she wore black.
Wedding day regrets seem to be rife, especially regarding the gown. Many brides admit to choosing a dress they now wouldn’t be seen wed in!