Why Donald Trump’s bark is much worse than his bite

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Luvviedom - or, to give it its more formal title, the bizarre world of celebrities - is getting highly agitated, not to mention in a state of hysteria over the unexpected arrival of Donald Trump at the White House. My advice to these people is to misquote David Cameron’s badly-received remark to a female Labour MP: “Calm down, dears.”

The Liberal elite - and that includes those in this country - have for years been complaining about the Establishment and its alleged parsimony in handing out Government grants to the entertainment industry.

Yet, now with the Establishment overturned, by Donald Trump in Washington and Brexit in this country, some people are more unhappy than ever, to a farcical degree that in both cases they have been demanding (in vain, I am glad to say) a re-run of both polls. Nothing, it appears, will satisfy them.

I believe that Trump’s bark is far worse than his bite, and that his presidency will be a far cry from what many people feared.

However, if this result in Washington and particularly the Brexit vote in this country, causes the Establishment to pause and think hard before they dole out extravagant hand-outs to the luvvies, that must be a good thing, when you consider, for a start, the millions starving in Africa, not to mention those in need at home.

It must be in everybody’s interests to make sure that the entertainment industry can learn to stand on its own two feet without continually whingeing like Oliver Twist that they need more and more public money.

Personally, I do not understand their brass neck in this continual pleading for funds, claiming that our economy depends on it.

•Judging by the photographs of Donald Trump and President Obama greeting each other in the Oval Office, it looks as though Trump is wavering in his phobia for shaking hands, a gesture he has described as “barbaric”.

The President-elect wrote in 1997: “One of the curses of American society is the simple act of shaking hands, and the more successful and famous one becomes, the worse this terrible custom seems to get. I happen to be a clean hands freak. I feel much better after I thoroughly wash my hands, which I do as much as possible.”

However, it will surely be impossible for Trump in his new job to avoid this “barbaric” practice of pressing the flesh several times a day. He will either have to cast aside his fear of catching germs, or have a flunkey regularly at his side, bearing a bowl of hot water, a bar of soap and a towel.

•This has to be the season of recanting insults by red-faced British politicians about Donald Trump before they ever believed he would fight his way into the White House. This particularly applies to Boris Johnson, who, as Foreign Secretary, is supposed to be the arch-practitioner of diplomacy, measured language and, not least, prescience. He has failed on all three counts.

Boris seemed blinded to the possibility that Trump might win the election, when he accused the Republican candidate of “stupefying ignorance”. The insult itself is bad enough, but to describe a leading contestant in a foreign election in such a way compounds the felony and is beyond the pale.

Boris also said at another point in the campaign: “The only reason I would not visit some parts of New York is the risk of meeting Donald Trump.”

That again further demonstrates Boris’ inability to pick a winner.

You wouldn’t want to employ Boris as your racing tipster.