Co Down man on agony of losing mum to pancreatic cancer just four weeks after her diagnosis

When he was just 24-years-old Eddie Carson’s beloved mum Sandra died – just a month after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Eddie, who lives in Donaghadee, is one of a number of people adding their voices to this year’s #TimeMatters campaign for Northern Ireland Pancreatic Cancer (NIPANC), an emerging local charity whose purpose is to raise public awareness, fund research and support families who face a diagnosis of this devastating cancer.

Now aged 33 and dad to Ella (3) and newborn son, Ted, Eddie reflects on those awful weeks leading up to his mother’s death at the age of 52.

He said: “I was married on June 26, 2013 to my wonderful wife Anna but towards our first year anniversary my mum started to complain to my dad she didn’t feel right. Obviously not living with my parents anymore I didn’t see too much first-hand but mum began to complain about having a sore back while also finding sitting down uncomfortable.

“This was followed by her being sick a number of times after evening meals. Due to the persistence of these symptoms my dad decided it was time to get answers so after quite a few doctors’ appointments and further tests we knew things weren’t going in the right direction.”

Eddie added: “My mum’s bloods weren’t right which indicated inflammation in the body. Ultrasounds were carried out raising questions about her liver and breathing was also becoming slightly difficult at times.

“Doctors talked about possible gallstones, severe gastritis but these were only speculations. This is one of the most important issues about this cancer, it goes unseen for too long and has rightly earned its title as the silent killer.”

Eddie said his mum was getting worse by the day.

"Months later and after an A&E visit with still no answers a CT scan was done and the results came back far from good. My parents were called to a side room to speak with two consultants to be told mum had pancreatic cancer which had spread to her liver. Surgery and treatments were not possible. Words you never want to hear along with “we will make sure Sandra is comfortable”.

Eddie, an only child, said his dad phoned him and asked him to come straight to the Ulster Hospital.

“I will never forget sitting beside my mum on her hospital bed and saying to me: ‘Son your mum has cancer’. We embraced for as long as I can remember with tears running down both our faces. my mum was everything to me!

“Just three weeks later mum was out of hospital, at her mum’s (our nanny’s) house. She was so unwell we called an ambulance. On the short journey to the Ulster Hospital, she took a serious stroke leaving no power on her right side. Everything was escalating so quickly.”

Eddie added: “My mum was the life and soul wherever she went but now she now had no movement, no speech. It was heart-breaking and very hard to deal with.

“Feeding your very ill 52-year-old mum with a spoon is something you never want to have to do. Just four weeks after diagnosis my mum took her last breath with her family around her, I felt completely numb, not knowing what to do.

"My mum, who was there for me through thick and thin and who was just the best. I will be forever grateful I was able to call her my mum.”

Pancreatic cancer is one of the world’s deadliest cancers, with a five-year survival rate in single digits. Approximately 260 people are diagnosed with the condition each year in Northern Ireland, but only one per cent of those diagnosed will reach 10-year survival. The Province has one of the worst survival rates in the world ranking 32 out of 36 countries. Three out of five patients could have surgery to cure their pancreatic cancer but were diagnosed too late

Eddie said: "I soon found out it is a silent and deadly disease; one that can take a precious life away in just four weeks.”

His father Gary is the secretary for NIPANC, which is how Eddie got involved with the charity.

“What I would say to anyone who finds themselves in our situation is be with your family. Time is everything! Tell your parent/partner how much you love them and how thankful you are for them. Don’t have any regrets,” said Eddie.

“Grief is hard when it arises but try not to hold back, talk to one another, share your feelings, take counselling if need be and look after yourself."

He added: “Too often the symptoms just don’t tell the full story until it’s too late. A quick and accurate diagnosis is really the only option. Even then it could still be too late – time matters significantly!”

Eddie described his mum as “one in a million”, adding her personality was perfect for her job in the travel business.

“I certainly questioned why God took away such a special person so young and it will still remain a question. One day I will know the reason but today I take comfort in knowing she is with Jesus - healed and fully restored and now has her infectious personality back. One day I will see her again and it’s such a comfort to know that truth!

*For more information visit: www.nipanc.org

#PCAM (World Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month).