Anxious about life ‘going back to normal’ as pandemic nears its endgame? Experts share some advice on how to help you adjust

With restrictions being relaxed and experts speculating that we’re heading towards the endgame of the pandemic, there are lots of reasons to feel optimistic that life may soon return to ‘normal’.

While a world without face masks, Covid tests and social distancing is appealing in many ways, it’s perfectly natural to feel nervous and anxious about this next phase and the looming changes it could bring too. If you are feeling this way, you’re not alone.

“We have been on high alert because of our health, and now being out and about again might not feel safe for us or our loved ones,” says BACP counsellor Lara Waycot (larawaycot.com).

“As socialising picks up again, we could also have social anxiety. We may feel as if we’re under a microscope and be over-analysing our part within an interaction, with fear of how we are coming across or look to others.”

Here, experts offer their advice for coping with the personal and social challenges as restrictions are eased.

Don’t feel guilty

“It’s definitely normal to feel anxious,” says psychologist and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers (leechambers.org).

“And in some ways, accepting that it’s going to feel uncomfortable actually helps” – rather than trying to bury those feelings. “We know restrictions are easing, but at the same time it’s all a little bit new,” Chambers adds.

If you’re feeling like the odd one out amongst your peers or colleagues because you’re not jumping for joy, Waycot says: “Speak to those around you – you may be surprised you’re not the only one feeling this way.”

Go at your own pace

While some people are raring to get back to the office or fill up their diary with social events, others aren’t so keen – and that’s OK too.

“Find the balance between taking it at your pace, and some gentle exposure out of the comfort zone,” says Waycot.

You might want to keep wearing a face mask in some situations even if it’s not a legal requirement, for example. And if you’re not comfortable accepting an invitation from a friend or family member, calmly explain why.

“Be honest about your position,” says Chambers. “That then helps the other person know that you’re not judging them, but actually it’s a choice that’s coming from you internally. You’re not telling them that they’re wrong to be feeling more excited about getting back to normal.”

Beware of peer pressure

If, after explaining your reasons, you’re still feeling pressured, Chambers says a “kind but strong ‘no’” is the best response, and talking about your feelings can help others to empathise.

“People are less likely to challenge what you feel, they’re much more likely to challenge what you think,” Chambers continues. “If you say you feel something, it really hits the other person’s emotions.”

Stay in the present

“Anxiety is often a worry of the future, the ‘what ifs’. To counteract this, we can practice mindfulness to be in the present,” says Waycot. “Really hone in on the conversations you’re having, the people you’re speaking to, the weather and the environment.”

If you’re struggling to stay in the present moment, it could help to seek help from a professional, she adds: “These anxieties are coming up a lot with clients, and counsellors can offer a judgment-free space for you to work through these feelings.”

Find routine where you can

During lockdown, life changed for us all and we developed new routines. Even if your normal weekday or weekend habits have now changed again, some things can stay the same.

Are there areas in your life where it’s easier to stick to a routine? Something as simple as going to bed and waking up at the same time each day or making sure to stick to your set lunch break can make a big difference.

Write down your thoughts

If you’re feeling worried or upset it can be helpful to explore your feelings by keeping a diary or journal.

This can also be a great way to track your mood over time and remind yourself of the progress you have made. As your confidence begins to grow, you can look back over your entries to see how far you have come.

Tell someone how you feel

It’s easy to feel isolated or lonely when we’re struggling. However, chances are that someone we know feels exactly how we do too.

Opening up to a person we trust can be really helpful, whether it’s a friend or family member, a GP or an organisation’s helpline or online forum. If you are not ready to start socialising but are feeling lonely, there’s plenty of support out there, like the Let’s Talk Loneliness Campaign (visit www.nhs.uk for more information), for people you can speak to at any time.

Remember how far you’ve come

“It’s really beneficial if people reflect on all they’ve achieved over what has been almost two years of constant transition and constant uncertainty,” says Chambers, who suggests taking a moment to “realise how well they’ve adapted and how flexible they’ve been. That gives people more confidence that they can navigate the transition, and navigate it in a way that’s healthy and works for them.”

What will the new normal look like?

Britons are allegedly prepared to pay higher taxes to turn the UK into a kinder, more equal and supportive place to live than before the pandemic, according to research published earlier this year. A poll carried out for the strategy consultancy BritainThinks reveals that just 12% of people want life to return to normal “exactly as it was before”.

The research shows three priorities, with people wanting to see better funding for the NHS, better treatment and pay for essential workers, and an economic recovery plan that stretches right across all parts of the UK.

According to BritainThinks there is also an appetite for a kinder society that prioritises better support for people struggling with mental or physical health problems, allows workers more time off with family and friends, cares about the environment and ensures high levels of employment.

Six out of 10 people would be willing to pay more tax to see the NHS better funded, an approach that is said to be favoured by 54% of Conservative voters.

There is little support, by contrast, for a return to austerity: only 17% of those polled think the government should cut funding for public services in the future, to pay back the money borrowed to respond to the crisis.

“Actually, people don’t want the ‘old normal’. They really, really don’t,” said BritainThinks founding partner Deborah Mattinson in the Guardian.

“They want to support and value essential workers and social services more.

“They want to see more funding for the NHS. There’s a massive valuing of those services and austerity is totally off the agenda.”

Mattinson further said this was also clear from the diaries of 50 British people from a wide range of different locations, lifestyles and backgrounds, including respondents from NI, who had been keeping a weekly log for BritainThinks during the various lockdowns.

One 25-year-old diarist wrote: “Essential services are completely underfunded. We got through by the skin of our teeth. We may not be so lucky next time.” Similarly, a small business owner wrote: “Nurses have to be paid salaries commensurate with the value of the work they do.”

In another diary extract revealed by BritainThinks, a 65-year-old woman said that she did not want to see things go back to how they were: “I want a more equal society: I want us to tackle climate change and I want the divisions that were there before this crisis to be healed.”

Furthermore, a parent with young children wrote: “I want us to create a more conscious and considerate world.

“Social care and the NHS are clearly underfunded, as is education, and so many people live in poverty.”