How to best support single friends living alone with Covid

Thankfully, most people who get ill with Covid are able to recover at home – but being unwell and having to isolate can still be horrible, whatever your circumstances.

For single folks living alone, in some ways navigating aspects of catching the virus might be easier (at least you don’t have to worry about passing it on to anyone, each time you use the bathroom!). In other ways though, for some, there might be extra layers of anxiety that creep in: who’s going to fetch your shopping? Would anyone notice if you got really sick?

So here’s how to support single friends living alone with Covid...

Checking in means a lot

“In terms of how loved ones can help, absolutely checking in,” says chartered psychologist Dr Meg Arroll (drmegarroll.com).

They may not have the energy to respond to every message right away, but those simple check-ins can really mean a lot when someone’s stuck indoors alone and feeling rubbish.

If you are somebody’s prime checking-in person, Arroll suggests making sure it’s regular.

“I do think having some sort of schedule is incredibly helpful, because it’s really about helping to create a sense of control and predictability with managing something that is very outside of our control,” she says.

“That level of uncertainty causes a lot of anxiety.

“So you could say to them, ‘I’m going to check in three times a day at these times, every day’. They can then rely on that. You can schedule an alert on your phone so you don’t forget.”

Ask if they want to chat

There’s a lot to be said for a well-timed WhatsApp or text, and an impeccably chosen meme never hurts. A chat on the phone can be a real tonic though – if they’re up for it.

“Sometimes people won’t want to talk if they’re feeling unwell, but they’ll know they’re getting a text and can then perhaps talk later,” says Arroll.

“And even if you’re in the acute stage of Covid, you can have one day where you don’t feel too poorly and then the next day you might feel very poorly again.”

Regular phone calls can be especially important if somebody is very unwell or has reason to be more concerned about the possibility of getting sicker with the virus – as it means you can help keep track of how they’re sounding.

Ask how they’re doing in general

Sometimes, 10 days isolating alone might not be too bad.

Other times, it might all start to feel very overwhelming and lonely, and being unwell can be an anxious time for many people.

As Arroll points out, when we are physically sick, our emotions can be affected – it’s normal to feel very low and out of sorts.

Asking how they’re feeling in general and offering some kind reassurance if that’s what they need, might be very appreciated.

Send a care package

In terms of supporting them on a practical level, “definitely a care package”, says Arroll.

“And not just food, but put in some comfy things, get the nice, lovely warm soft socks and things like that.

“Think about your five senses and how you could integrate that within a care package.”

There are so many ways to send care packages – or other thoughtful gestures – these days, from ordering them a takeaway or letterbox delivery of flowers or cake. If your budget is tight, you don’t need to spend above your means.

“Some of their favourite sweet treats, or even a Spotify playlist could be really nice.

If you’re close by, a doorstep drop of essential groceries or a prepared dinner or two could be really helpful, and offer to pick up any medicines or supplies they might need if you’re able to.

Analysis from local.gov.uk on social isolation during the pandemic

Recent research on loneliness during the pandemic has three main findings:

People who felt most lonely prior to Covid in the UK now have even higher levels of loneliness. This increase began as physical distancing, shielding and lockdown measures were introduced in the UK, in March 2020.

Adults most at risk of being lonely, and increasingly so over this period, have one or more of the following characteristics: they are young, living alone, on low incomes, out of work and, or with a mental health condition.

The impact on wellbeing from people at risk of loneliness is likely to be compounded by other economic and social impacts experienced by the same people, such as those experiencing job losses and health anxieties.

Loneliness and social isolation impact and risks as outlined by local.gov.uk

It is likely that as the pandemic continues, we can expect more people of all ages to experience loneliness and social isolation due to the impact of local tier restrictions and social distancing measures. As well as the reduction in face-to-face opportunities to socialise, connect with family, neighbours and friends and to take part in physical activity and everyday cultural and faith experiences.

There is an extensive evidence base about the impact of loneliness and social isolation on people’s lives, their relationships and their wellbeing. It is also a serious public health concern. It leads to higher rates of premature mortality comparable to those associated with smoking and alcohol consumption – around 30 per cent higher than for the general population and is a risk factor in developing depression.

Whilst loneliness is often associated with social isolation, these two concepts, though linked, are distinct and will require different responses during the outbreak. For people who are already socially isolated, ie they already lack the social contacts to reach out for support, being asked to socially isolate due to Covid especially if they are in a clinically high-risk group, can be particularly difficult.

Digital exclusion is a key driver of social isolation. It is important to ensure that people without internet access or who do not use the internet still receive information in an appropriate format and are helped to get online if they wish to do so. This will usually be part of wider plans to support people in vulnerable circumstances who do not have access to support networks during the pandemic.

Even if someone is not completely socially isolated in terms of having people who are important to them and who can help them to navigate their day to day lives, social distancing rules mean that many people are missing out on emotionally fulfilling social contact and may feel lonely.

Councils are working hard with other organisations and faith groups to ensure that people feel as connected as possible. Communities are self-organising and there are many imaginative responses such as virtual pubs, choirs and concerts that are helping to keep people connected.

There is also a positive opportunity to build upon the increased neighbourliness and volunteering to help strengthen community capacity and resilience in the future. An emerging challenge is sustaining community and neighbourhood responses over a longer period and when some volunteers, such as older people, might be less likely to engage as a result of the pandemic.

The loneliness and social isolation impacts from Covid will be experienced by people across the life course, but some will be more at risk than others and will need targeted approaches that are also sensitive to the stigma that can be associated loneliness.

Visit www.local.gov.uk/publications/loneliness-social-isolation-and-covid-19 for more information on loneliness, social isolation and Covid and how to help combat its deleterious impact.

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