Father whose baby daughter was stillborn speaks out to help others

Gary Tearle, 42, HR administration manager at law firm Allen & Overy Belfast, said: “We arrived at the hospital on April 29, 2016 for my wife, Julie, to be induced. Julie was at full term and everything about the pregnancy had been completely normal but within 30 minutes we were told that Sarah’s heart was not beating and she had died at some stage that morning.

“Sarah was born naturally the following day - she was perfect. Julie and I were devastated. The shock of thinking that everything was progressing normally to losing your daughter within a matter of hours was incomprehensible.”

Gary said that in the midst of the tragic of circumstances, they received invaluable support from charity, Sands NI.

“They provided very practical help and support on a whole range of issues including thinking about a post mortem and funeral – matters that would have been unthinkable days before. They supplied a memory box which meant we could take hand and foot prints and a lock of Sarah’s hair.

“We were able to spend that night and the next day with Sarah in a specially designed bereavement suite in the Ulster Hospital. It gave us privacy and much-needed precious time with Sarah. I can’t imagine what our experience would have been like if these resources were not available.

“It was only later that we discovered Sands NI was instrumental in developing bereavement suites and recently opened suites in Altnagelvin and Daisy Hill Hospitals. The charity aims to have a bereavement suite in every hospital but these can cost up to £70,000. That got me thinking - no-one should go through this alone. Everyone deserves to have the support and care that we received.”

Gary said when Allen & Overy Belfast’s local charity partnership was up for renewal he nominated Sands NI to be the company’s next partner.

“In Northern Ireland three babies die every week – that represents a lot of people impacted by baby loss and yet it’s rarely spoken about. My hope was that by supporting Sands NI we could start these conversations happening.”

Gary said the company has raised over £16,000 for Sands NI.

“We’ve also got involved with knitting baby blankets that are included in the memory boxes that Sands NI distribute to bereaved parents.”

He added: “Since Sarah was born, we have had two children - Elizabeth (3) and baby Cillian, born in July this year but Sarah will always be a hugely important part of our family.”

*For information about Sands NI go to https://northernireland.sands.org.uk/