‘I was fit, then I was emotionally vulnerable and reliant on others’

One day in August 2020, in the middle of attending to his duties as a school teacher at St Mark’s High in Warrenpoint, 45-year-old Sean O’Hare began to feel unwell, experiencing a distinct weakness down the left side of his body.

“It was the strangest feeling,” recalls the man from Burren, Co Down, who is married to fellow teacher Caroline: “My friend noticed something was wrong immediately. My facial expression changed and my face seemed to droop on one side and apparently my speech became different all of a sudden.

“They quickly called 999 and luckily enough my wife works in the same school so she was there within minutes. As soon as I got to A&E they administered thrombolysis medication (a clot busting drug) and I then spent five or six days in Craigavon Area Hospital.”

He added: “For some time after it happened, I felt my speech was affected. My wife assures me that it was OK but it felt like I had to force my words out. I had trouble with the power in my left arm too. It’s getting better now though but it took time.”

As Sean’s recovery progressed, he felt like he needed some emotional support and so turned to the Stroke Association: “I referred myself for counselling sometime around November 2020 as, even though I’d been making a good recovery, a lot of the support I’d been receiving seemed to end all at once and I just didn’t feel right.

“I didn’t feel like me. I felt that I was having to lean emotionally on my wife and family, so I was encouraged to try counselling.

“I started my programme of one-to-one counselling with the Stroke Association in January 2021 and I couldn’t recommend it enough. I found it so easy just to talk and get stuff off my chest and I did find the answers to some of what I was feeling at the time.

“I suppose a big thing for me was the emotional changes around how I’d been so fit and strong before, and now I had to accept support myself. It was a lot for me to handle emotionally.

“I’ve always really been into sport and exercise. I’ve played football, run marathons and generally exercise until I can’t go any further.

“We might think that we can just talk to our families or friends but I found that I could open up more and say things during the counselling sessions that I just couldn’t to my loved ones.”

Sean added: “After the counselling, I felt that I had a platform to start from again. It really helped and I’d encourage others to try it if they are feeling like I did. I believe that when something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, you can let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you. I’m determined to use my experience as a source of strength and move forward.

“A big high point for me in my recovery was starting back to teaching in March and I’m now looking forward to the new school year.”

The Stroke Association in Northern Ireland helps support people to rebuild their lives after the physical, psychological and emotional deterioration that such a dangerous neurological event or ‘brain storm’ as it is known, can occasion.

The charity has just been just been awarded three years funding to the value of £498,771 from The National Lottery Community Fund to specifically continue its provision of emotional support and a counselling service to stroke survivors and their families right across the province, helping them build resilience, emotional equilibrium, mental wellbeing, self-esteem and to help them adapt to the challenges of daily life once more, whatever the degree to which they are impacted by the condition. The counselling service is available in a hybrid or blended model with face-to-face, online and telephone sessions for stroke survivors, their relatives or carers or others close to them who have been impacted.

The Stroke Association is also spearheading a campaign to establish a peer network by holding events that will allow stoke survivors to overcome isolation and meet others who share and can therefore intimately understand their experiences, so that they feel less isolated in the aftermath of what can be such a life-changing medical emergency.

The umbrella term for the project is STEPS (Stroke Tailored Emotional and Psychological Support) and the Stroke Association will partner with fellow charity Northern Ireland Chest Heart and Stroke in its delivery of one-to-one counselling and a series of self-management workshops offering advice on how to reintegrate into society and cope with the stresses and challenges of everyday life in the aftermath of stroke, which can leave sufferers also dealing with depression, anxiety, emotional upheaval, trauma, and a sense of alienation from their former selves. It will include practical advice on how stroke survivors can help themselves cope with the myriad tasks entailed in day-to-day life that can seem insurmountable in the aftermath of stroke when enormous physical fatigue can make normal life immensely difficult, not to mention the complex emotional and psychological difficulties that stroke can herald; even those who suffer a minor stroke may be profoundly mentally and emotionally scarred.

Service and engagement lead at the Stroke Association in Northern Ireland, Ursula Ferguson, said: “I’m so pleased that we’re now able to offer such a vital emotional support service for our stroke community here in Northern Ireland. This much needed funding has been made possible thanks to National Lottery players.

“Previous research conducted in tandem with Ulster University found that 90% of stroke survivors felt that their emotional needs were not being met. This is the case even with non-complex cases. Sean is one example of how difficult it can be to deal with stroke emotionally and this is one of the hidden impacts. You can’t see how a person is emotionally changed by a stroke, but this does not make it any less real or important.

“Stroke survivors are not the only ones affected, so too are loved ones who also experience a heavy emotional freight and are distressed towards the changes a stroke can cause in their loved one. Many stroke survivors also feel isolated from their friends because they have been sometimes left with resultant communication difficulties and a lot of the time friends do not know how to respond appropriately.

“Over 75% of people who come to us feel they have been positively helped emotionally in engaging with our services.

“We at the Stroke Association are here to support people to rebuild their lives after stroke. Along with our project partners Northern Ireland Chest Heart and Stroke, we believe we are well placed to provide this service due to our expertise and flexibility. Stroke survivors and carers are telling us that they are struggling emotionally and this funding will allow us to provide the support they need wherever they are in Northern Ireland.”

Stroke strikes every five minutes in the UK and it can change lives in an instant. There are over 39,000 people rebuilding their lives after stroke across the province.

The Stroke Association in Northern Ireland also helps fund critical research and campaigns to make sure people affected get the very best care needed to rebuild their lives. Working with local health and social care trusts across Ulster, the charity, which is heavily reliant on donations, also provides speech and language therapy, a Stroke Helpline and local groups who meet regularly in communities. Anyone affected by stroke can visit stroke.org.uk or call the dedicated helpline today on 0303 3033 100 to find out about support available in their area.

Find the Stroke Association NI on Facebook at www.facebook.com/strokeassociationni or follow the charity on Twitter @strokeassocni.