25 of the funniest Derry Girls quotes and jokes

The funniest one-liners from Erin, Michelle, Orla, Clare, James and more.

The second series of Derry Girls has picked up where the first series left off delivering frequently hilarious and often poignant comedy.

Series two of Derry Girls has proven to be every bit as funny as series oneplaceholder image
Series two of Derry Girls has proven to be every bit as funny as series one

Here are some of the best quotes and one-liners from the first two series of Derry Girls. And they’re not all from the mouth of Michelle.

"If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me." - Sister Michaelplaceholder image
"If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me." - Sister Michael
"Dont say knickers in front of your father, he cant cope!" - Ma Maryplaceholder image
"Dont say knickers in front of your father, he cant cope!" - Ma Mary
Ill compromise you through that window!  Granda Joe to Gerry, during the now famous how-many-bags-of-chips debateplaceholder image
Ill compromise you through that window! Granda Joe to Gerry, during the now famous how-many-bags-of-chips debate
Macaulay Culkin isnt a Protestant, ma!  Erinplaceholder image
Macaulay Culkin isnt a Protestant, ma! Erin
Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da.  Ma Mary, on her laundryplaceholder image
Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da. Ma Mary, on her laundry
Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldnt let me.  Erinplaceholder image
Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldnt let me. Erin
We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging.  Michelles take on Irish historyplaceholder image
We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging. Michelles take on Irish history
Im pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isnt very high up on anyones political agenda.  Erinplaceholder image
Im pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isnt very high up on anyones political agenda. Erin
I dont smoke either, I just like meltin stuff.  Orlaplaceholder image
I dont smoke either, I just like meltin stuff. Orla
Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French.  Sister Michael declines the chance to join the trip to Parisplaceholder image
Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French. Sister Michael declines the chance to join the trip to Paris
You cant ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you.  Michelleplaceholder image
You cant ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you. Michelle
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