An Occasional Tipple: A corpse, a murder and some magnificent wine

A symphony of intense plum and raspberry flavours was superbly balanced by herbs and delicate spices which went wonderfully well with his platter of cold beef, cheese, and ripe tomatoes. Subtle nuances of violets enhanced the bouquet of this slow-drinking Italian red with a deeply savoury, satisfying finish.

Raymond tried to sleep. Suddenly, the ground gave way beneath him. Up popped a corpse in a shroud! He was lying in a graveyard. The dead had come to life!

The corpse carried the lid of his coffin to a nearby church, placed it on the ground and dashed off. Being an intrepid sort, Raymond followed him and took ownership of the coffin lid which he brought back to his cart.

The corpse returned and was bewildered by the missing lid. Raymond played a foreboding air on his flute which led the corpse to the cart. He loudly demanded his lid back or he'd tear Raymond to pieces.

Raymond pointed to his axe and declared that while he may look innocuous, there was only one person who'd be doing any chopping around here.

The corpse pleaded for his lid. Raymond simply queried where he'd been. The corpse confessed to frightening two youngsters to death. Raymond agreed to return the lid if he could bring the lads back to life.

The corpse told him to cut off a section of his shroud, burn it with coals in a pot and the smoke would resuscitate them. He ran back to his grave. The sun came up as he descended into the earth. Part of the coffin lid was left sticking out in the morning air.

Raymond soon found a house in mourning. "Nil desperandum!" he shouted, "I’ll resurrect them!” The bereaved family offered half their fortune and so Raymond carried out the corpse's instructions.

The boys returned to life. Relatives were delighted but suspected that Raymond was actually responsible for killing their boys. Raymond was handed over to the authorities and sentenced to death.

For his last request, Raymond was given a glass of the taut, bone-dry and very elegant 2022 Greco di Tufo (£9.99, Lidl).

This sophisticated Italian white has a complex palate with well-judged minerality alongside floral notes before a lengthy, satisfying finish. Ideal for simply prepared salmon or trout dishes.

Calmly sipping his wine, Raymond mentioned the ghost and the grave with the coffin lid sticking out. Villagers tore the grave open and drove a stake through the corpse's heart. They rewarded Raymond by setting him up in a beautiful home, Rose Cottage, where his descendants drink WINES OF THE WEEK and routinely perform heroic acts to this very day.

Be careful where you fall asleep, tipplers, after one too many on Hallowe'en night! Wouhhh!!