Wine for losers, winners, saints and sinners

More importantly, give thon poor, long-suffering wife (or husband) of yours some peace. God have pity on her (or him) anyway, the wee cratur!”. If you’re anything like me, that’s what your inner voice will be screaming at you today. You see, this week included the double whammy of St Patrick’s Day and the infamous Cheltenham racing festival. Many of us will therefore have engaged in our highly compatible and mutually destructive national pastimes of drowning our shamrocks whilst emptying our wallets to those dastardly bookies.

Yesterday was Cheltenham Gold Cup Day. Which for the gamblers among us will, thank goodness, have been the final day of our annual 4-day betting bonanza. In truth, were it not for social distancing, it would probably have been more practical to just withdraw the cash and slip it into the bookmaker’s satchel. It would have spared us so much stress, agony and the prolonged heart-rending torture of watching our recurring dreams of riches gradually descend into the familiar despair of an empty pocket. It’s not even the money, it’s the pride that hurts. Is what I tell myself. And then there’s the post mortem. How do you think it feels when all you can say is “if only”? The whole process is invariably sodden in drink. Even when the pubs are shut and you’re stuck at home.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I won’t be joining you in a drink today (unless Minella Indo won the big race yesterday and this finally turns out to be the year when I have the last laugh on the bookies). That’s how they keep you on the hook. But if you’ve behaved yourself this week and fancy a little tipple with your Sunday roast, you should invest in today’s Wine of the Week, the taut, bone-dry and very elegant 2020 Mineral Riesling (£9, M&S). This sophisticated white has excellent complexity and depth with generous peach and subtle spicy flavours, an intensely fruity bouquet and a delightfully intriguing backnote of petrol on its complex palate before a lingering, satisfyingly savoury finish. One for simple trout or salmon or even the cod ceviche I plan to pull off if I can just convince my darling wife, the redoubtable Madame G., that, ahem: “the fish isn’t actually raw, darling, it’s been cooked by the acidity of the orange and lime. It’s been thoroughly cooked, I assure you. Now please don’t mention that sordid one time only chicken affair which definitely wasn’t my fault, the recipe timings were incorrect!”

Lovers of red wine, you may prefer to drown your wilted shamrock or beaten dockets in today’s second recommendation, the soft, supple and superbly balanced Cono Sur Bicicletta Pinot Noir (£7.50, Tesco). This easy-drinking, seductively smooth Chilean red is delicately spiced with pronounced flavours of raspberries and blackberries on a smooth palate before a lingering, peppery finish. One to enjoy with pork or poultry.

And if, like me, you really can’t face a drink today but can only realistically hold out for a few days, well, I probably shouldn’t mention it but I’ve just been given a sneak preview of an exciting new range from Lidl which is available from this Thursday (March 25). I was particularly impressed by a Hungarian white- the pale, light-bodied and exceptionally elegant 2019 Patricius Tokaji Furmint (£7.99). An intriguing palate with notes of soft walnuts and almonds, mint and honey alongside green apple and citrus flavours leads to a brisk, tingly finish with very fine and mild acidity. As well as the obvious candidates of seafood and salads, it’s also versatile enough to enjoy with desserts. My Madame and I enjoyed ours most decadently with Lidl’s delicious handmade Deluxe Milk Chocolate with Honeycomb Easter Egg. I know, we are awful (eating Easter eggs in the middle of Lent)! But it’s part of my job to test these things, don’t you know? And I’m very hardworking.

If you find yourselves in dire straits this weekend, tipplers, and you really can’t face a drink or glorious food or even a delightful chocolate egg, try to take comfort in the wise words of St Patrick as he drove the snakes out of Ireland: “Are youns alright there in the back?”. Boom boom! Well, if that doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will. Till next week, tipplers, sante!

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