Ian Ellis: The theory of emotional intelligence (EI) and its deeply religious parallels

A thoughtful and aware approach to navigating these strains and stresses is what is needed to keep relationships in good order.

The theory of what is known as emotional intelligence (EI), as distinct from intelligence as it is generally understood, provides useful pointers.

Although a relatively new concept, EI has been widely discussed in books and learned articles.

In a recent joint-contribution to the journal, Pastoral Psychology, academics Leslie Francis, John Payne and Neville Emslie point to how, in the 1990s, psychologist Daniel Goleman developed and popularized the theory.

They observe how Goleman maintained that EI focuses on two fundamental abilities: personal on the one hand and social on the other. These competences refer to how we relate to ourselves and to other people.

The three academics go on to explain how Goleman held that personal competence involves self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation, while social competence involves empathy and social skills.

Goleman stresses the importance of EI in leadership roles, writing: “Emotional intelligence refers to a different way of being smart. EI is a key to high performance, particularly for outstanding leadership. It's not your IQ, but rather it's how you manage yourself and your relationships with others.”

The Cambridge Dictionary defines EI as “the ability to understand the way people feel and react and to use this skill to make good judgments and to avoid or solve problems” as well as “the ability to understand and control your own feelings, and to understand the feelings of others and react to them in a suitable way”.

What is particularly striking in these observations is that EI stresses understanding self as well as other people.

Understanding oneself is not straightforward. Rather, it requires reflection and the readiness to make negative self-criticisms, which is always challenging.

The principle of “self and other people” reminds me of the biblical injunction to love one's neighbour as oneself.

This loving of self and others is not about sentimentality. What it is all about, rather, is mutual caring. The biblical word for love here is “charity” (Latin, caritas).

In caring for ourselves properly, we can understand other people better.

One sometimes comes across people who care for relatives but who actually run themselves into the ground in the process. It is good to care with real commitment but people do also need to care for themselves.

However, some people care only about themselves and have no regard for others. That attitude contradicts the principles of EI and indeed also contradicts the biblical exhortation to mutual care of oneself and others.

EI therefore has deeply religious parallels.

It has also surfaced in recent years in parliamentary discussions.

The 2015 Baxendale Report on civil service recruitment recommended opening up the selection process to ensure candidates are tested on a much wider range of skills and experience than had been the case until then, including EI.

The report stated on the issue of the selection process: “While the competency based approach to interviews may remain, criteria for selection should include a better balance of emotional intelligence, influencing style and stakeholder management, alongside technical competence as essential components of a successful entry into the [Senior Civil Service].”

Catherine Baxendale is a highly regarded human resources professional, and is a former senior executive with multinational manufacturer Procter and Gamble as well as with supermarket chain Tesco. It is good to see such a high flyer placing such an emphasis on EI.

Another parliamentary mention was striking. Speaking in 2017 in the the House of Commons, then Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Sajid Javid referred to EI in connection with the response to the Grenfell Tower disaster.

Stressing the need for “greater empathy and emotional intelligence”, he said: “The people of Grenfell Tower, Grenfell Walk and the wider community have already suffered so much, yet the taskforce has heard too many accounts of that suffering being compounded by bureaucratic processes that are not appropriate when so many deeply traumatised men, women and children have complex individual needs. A greater degree of humanity must be put at the heart of all [the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea's] recovery work.”

Then again, it is of note that only earlier this year an experienced strategist on championing the over-50s, Natalie Hall, who holds a leadership role at the organisation 55 Redefined, told a House of Commons committee on the subject of the rights of older people that “emotional intelligence tends to rise with age, so having over-50s in your workforce makes for a better coaching and mentoring atmosphere for those in the team”.

Perhaps it might be said that, as well as being able to get one's own life in perspective, one of the keys when it comes to having good EI skills is the ability to place oneself in the other's shoes, to see things as the other sees them, and to be aware of how the other actually thinks.

​

Canon Ian Ellis is a former editor of The Church of Ireland Gazette.