Jackie McGregor: Is it just me? Why do tradesmen never call when they say they will?

I’m currently a lady-in-waiting. I eagerly anticipate the arrival of a gardener, a roofer and a joiner.

I contacted the gardener weeks ago; I’ve used him before, he’s good - though physically getting him into the garden can prove a delicate dance. I’m no longer gullible enough to believe his first offer of “next week” will ever be honoured. In time he usually materialises. By then I’m so grateful to see him that we ignore the empty promises, never to be spoken of again. His arrival is all that matters.

There’s a certain power dynamic in the relationship between customer and most tradespeople. A booked appointment is more of a loose suggestion on their part, depending on weather, mood or better offers. Securing their services can become a fragile psychological courtship. I liken it to the first heady days of a new romance, one where you’re more invested than they are, but you’re sure it could work given the chance.

I’m starting to feel slightly rejected by my no-show gardener. I thought we’d built up a rapport -not in a Lady Chatterley sort of way, but I was hoping he regarded me as a regular, that I might take some priority over others. When I contacted him weeks ago, the garden didn’t look too bad, my grass is now chest high. I’m five feet tall and I felt like a Borrower wading through it yesterday, visions of me having to be air-lifted out filled my head.

I’m also waiting on a joiner who threatened to fix my gate. He failed to respond to my last text, I fear I’ve been ghosted.

If a boyfriend had treated me like this, he would have been swiftly binned, but a reliable tradesman, well, that’s a rare, precious, creature that must be handled with all the diplomatic skills of a hostage release. I gratefully accept any scraps of attention he sends my way. It’s a bit like a scene from a romantic movie, I’m Julia Roberts in Notting Hill, confessing: “I’m just a girl standing in front of a joiner asking him to fix my latch”, while he channels Rhett Butler: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

So why do tradesmen hold all the power in these relationships? The short answer - extreme demand, and a severe skills shortage allows then to cherry-pick jobs. Data from the Construction Industry Training Board, indicates Northern Ireland needs to recruit around 1,090 additional workers each year across essential skilled trades to replace an aging workforce and fill critical skills gaps.

People aren’t taking up old fashioned trade skills anymore. Everyone wants a career in tech, but AI can’t fix your leaky roof.

Excitedly, Roof Man has just texted. He’s been breadcrumbing me for days, teasing an appearance. He says he’ll be here tomorrow; he’s said that for the past three days. I’m trying to stay strong and keep the faith that he’ll appear, as I continue to wait, rocking back and forth for comfort, quietly humming Ronan Keating’s, “If Tomorrow Never Comes.”