Jackie McGregor: Sincerely, parting with friendly strangers is such sweet sorrow

I wanted to yell at the driver that we’re not in America, I will probably have the same day I always have, namely predictable and unfulfilling, and lastly, I’m not the Queen, so less of the “Ma’am please!” Of course, I didn’t, as I’m a nice person and such an outburst would require me to report myself to the polite police immediately!

Instead, I shouted, “Oh and you,” though I felt I had been too slow in response, as I was in the middle of the whole cat signature thing in my head. So I had to overcompensate and called, “Enjoy your...,” I desperately searched for something to say as he climbed into the van, “drive,” my voice petered out pathetically.

I’m not a fan of the,"have a nice day,” greeting, it feels so insincere. It’s worse when you order a takeaway and a guy hands it to you with a face like a Lurgan spade and tells you rather threateningly to, “Enjoy your pizza.”

I feel like asking him why he assumes it’s for me? Though, to be fair, I don’t look like I’m a stranger to a pepperoni thick crust!

Growing up in the 1980s no one wished you a nice day. We just said, “bye” or, “thanks,” when leaving service tills. Although the sentiment is nice, it feels forced and very American. It doesn’t sound like a natural expression when delivered with a Northern Irish accent.

“Have a nice day,” first appeared in the 1948 film, A Letter to Three Wives. It became popularized by truck drivers on CB radios.

"It’s now widely used in retail to end a transaction, though many don’t like it.

My husband isn’t a fan of overly friendly people and amiable interactions. He still hasn’t recovered from a particularly vicious befriending attack at a well-known opticians.

The guy was chatting to my husband like he was his best friend, until he assumed hubby had probably undergone a charisma bypass, and he wasn’t going to leave him that favourable review he was after.

I recently made a complaint about a retailer and was put through to a call centre.

The operator was very nice, which made me competitively nice. I don’t like to be outdone in niceness, in case people think I’m rude.

As we ended the call he wished me a great day.

Not to be outdone, I replied, “You too and have a great evening.” Aha, I see you a day and raise you an evening!

“Stay well,” he quipped. I wasn’t expecting that!

“Take care”, I countered.

“Have a great weekend,” he called.

“And you, hope the weather’s good for you,” I was clearly floundering!

“You have a great week ahead!” he said, wow, this guy was good, he’d covered my day, health, weekend and week.

Nope, I had nothing, it was too early to wish him a Merry Christmas.

“Bye,” I whispered feebly, conceding defeat. I had been outmanoeuvred by a parting platitudes master!

Saying goodbye these days can be exhausting!

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