Trevor Ringland: In this new decade we should make our shared home of Northern Ireland is successful socially and economically

As I struggle to gain some degree of consistency in my game, no ball will be struck harder, straighter or with more determination.

My children are aware of the long history of competition between my brother and me. They knew the balls would help me focus to overturn the lead he carries forward in our lifetime competition!

It also did so with humour!

Perhaps there’s something of a lesson in this friendly but keen competition as to how we could manage our different constitutional aspirations in Northern Ireland while working together to make this place work.

In this new decade, it is so important for our futures that no matter what views we hold about the border, we focus on ensuring our shared home is successful socially and economically and challenge those who act otherwise.

We should also recognise that nothing was achieved through violence in the last century that could not otherwise have been achieved through peaceful means. That should form the basis of future relations inside Northern Ireland, on this island and between these islands.

We are privileged to live in a beautiful part of the world and are constantly found by those who visit to be a friendly and welcoming people.

It is increasingly clear that our position on these islands is one of being at arm’s length from the rest of the United Kingdom, which has always been the case.

Decision-makers in the Republic of Ireland have rightly recognised, though they may never say so, that their attitude is similar, due to our history.

Bearing that in mind, how do we change a great place to live and work into one that is even better.

We all have a role to play in making sure that happens. The future can be different and better and the choice is ours.

First of all teams of friends achieve more and so we need to take every opportunity to build meaningful and constructive relationships and challenge those who pursue a future based on victimhood, fear and hatred.

Secondly in building that successful society we should first of all challenge ourselves as to what we each can do to help achieve that and then also challenge each other in striving for that goal.

Every problem we have can be tackled, except the tragedy of the what we too simply call “legacy issues”.

However as we work through those they should not be permitted to define our future, particularly by those who promoted the ideologies that fed that unnecessary conflict.

We should reflect on every tragedy as “our “ loss and not “theirs”.

In the future we value our children equally.

Let’s create a future where we do well and focus on making it a reality.

And remember that a bit of humour will also help.

• Trevor Ringland is a lawyer, reconciliation activist, former politician and former Ireland rugby international player