Jackie McGregor: Does your child want to be famous? Then you’re a bad parent (allegedly)
“A marker of good parenting is that your child doesn’t have any wish to be famous,” remarked philosopher Alain De Botton. When asked why, he explained that it meant the child has enough internal validation that they won’t seek it externally.
They are content to be known by a small circle of people whom they know back and are not looking to be known by strangers. He claimed that people seek out fame for status which they hope will earn them respect and love, but what they find instead is envy, insecurity and backlash, he concluded. He’s got a point about fame’s downside!
These days, fame is much easier to obtain than it was pre-internet era. Celebrity can now be just the uploading of a video away. Plenty of fame-providing vehicles are available to those who seek their 15 minutes of stardom.
Social media platforms for instance, are easily accessible to most. Reality programmes and talent shows provide the opportunity to manufacture celebrities. They profit from creating young stars, but little support is provided to those who have achieved fame this way. The testimonies of ex-boy/girl band members and reality TV show stars are filled with disillusionment and unhappiness.
Recent surveys show the most common career path young people aspire to today is of becoming a YouTuber or social media influencer. The appeal of building a following online and becoming well known, can be an intoxicating pull, but there are many drawbacks, not least being the relentless trolling that those putting their lives in the public eye must endure.
To share one’s life so publicly is to put oneself under constant judgement. Security is also an issue. I was horrified when I recently watched a young dancer start her own YouTube channel. She told every minute detail of her life, even sharing dates of her menstrual cycle and contraception method and posting footage of herself leaving a hotel after a dance engagement in a skimpy outfit, letting everyone know her routine and that she regularly drives herself home alone at 3am! She said she couldn’t wait for a member of the public to recognise her from her channel.
Media exposure and social media creates an illusion of intimacy, making fans feel like they know a celebrity personally, even though they’ve never met them. Mix that with some fans’ psychological needs and individual vulnerabilities and it’s a breeding ground for obsessive fan behaviour.
Recently TV presenter, Holly Willoughby, found herself the target of a crazed fan who had horrifying plans to kidnap and murder her.
Tennis star Emma Raducanu emotionally crumbled on court this week when she spotted a man who had previously “exhibited fixated behaviour” towards her, sitting in the stands. Emma had previously had to seek a restraining order for another individual, a delivery driver who frequently loitered outside her house and left unwanted gifts. She claimed the delivery guy made her feel unsafe in her own home and had her constantly looking over her shoulder. This latest stalker must have brought her another world of fresh torment.
Fame may bring riches, but it rarely provides the love or freedom those who seek it crave, Reflecting on her own stratospheric rise Lady Gaga commented sagely, “I don’t think I could think of a single thing that’s more isolating than being famous.”