Jackie McGregor: ​Here’s to you mum – you are a star! Celebrating this Mother’s Day

Suddenly I excitedly yelled, “Green Shield Stamps!” These stamps were given to shoppers by retailers from 1958-1991 and could be redeemed for products from their catalogue.

My memory transported me back to my younger self, sitting at the dining table in my childhood home, diligently sticking the stamps into a book for my mother. My Alsatian puppy rested faithfully at my feet, while mum peeled potatoes and sang, ‘I’ll Take Manhattan’, her favourite song. It was a Sunday; the intoxicating smell of roast beef filled the air. I was salivating in anticipation of mum’s legendary Sunday roast. Reflecting on this I thought how much my son would have loved my mother’s fabulous cooking but alas, he never met her. She passed away four months before my wedding. My son was born a year later.

Celebrating Mother’s Day tomorrow as a motherless mother, I know the day will be filled with mummy memories. My mum lost her own mother at 13. She never really got over the loss. Being a mother meant everything to mum, she was a warm and loving one.

As I write this, it is the 20th anniversary of my mother’s passing, and the day has been a lot more difficult than I imagined. It’s hard to lose all the love a mother feels for you; there’s still a mother-shaped hole in my life.

I felt my mother’s loss most the night before I had my son. As I lay in the hospital bed beside the window, I looked up into the sky and felt the loneliest I’ve ever felt in my entire life. There was no one else I wanted more than my mother. I became fixated on a bright star in the sky, imagining it was mum looking down on me, desperate for her guidance and reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

When they wheeled me down to surgery for an emergency caesarean the following day, I was so scared I almost jumped off the gurney, but where would I run to? This baby had to come out. Then I saw the name tag on the midwife’s badge, Christina, my mother’s name. I took it as a sign that she was with me, spurring me on, it gave me strength. I interpret all sorts as signs mum has returned to me for a while, a robin looking at me from a tree, a butterfly, a star.

That night, I stood at the window and introduced my son to the glittering constellation in the sky. I felt my mother’s presence strongly, still nurturing us from another realm.

Although there are complaints about the commercialism of Mother's Day, it provides an opportunity to express gratitude to our mothers. Writing a card can convey thanks for all the little things they do, after their loss, those little things become their legacy.

I count myself fortunate to have had the mother I did. I still miss her and tomorrow night I shall raise a glass to the brightest star in the sky and whisper, “Happy Mother’s Day Mum, R.I.P” - (return if possible.)

“GOD SAVE THE KING” IS ONE CHANGE MANY STILL FIND HARD TO ACCEPT

I looked up in surprise as I heard someone on the radio talking about the Queen, but she’s dead, I thought. It took me a minute to realise they were referring to Queen Camilla. Even though it’s been over two years since Queen Elizabeth II died, I still can’t get used to Camilla being referred in this way. In my mind Queen Elizabeth II will always be queen to me.

Similarly, on Christmas Day, I was singing rather robustly along to the National Anthem, whilst imbibing, preparing dinner and simultaneously watching the King’s Speech, when I realised, I was still singing, “God save our Queen!” I don’t think I’ll ever adjust to that either! Queen just rolls off the tongue, but save the King, feels unnatural to me.

I’m not alone in my reticence to change. According to research from Virgin Media, people in the UK loathe change. In a recent poll 86 percent of the population described themselves as “creatures of habit,” and citied the National Anthem lyrics: “God save our gracious King!” being the most difficult change to accept.

Other changes people found hard to adjust to was the rebranding of Opal Fruits to Starburst and Marathon bars being renamed Snickers.

Personally, I’m still slightly traumatised by the swapping of the colours of the Cheese and Onion, and Salt and Vinegar, crisp bags, totally unnecessary! It still causes me confusion.

I must admit, I hate change too, though we can’t avoid it, as writer Robert C Gallagher observed, “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”

Change is inevitable except from a vending machine god save the king