Jackie McGregor: Marriage causes weight gain but posh lives life in the fasting lane
I’m opening this column with a deeply sexist, offensive joke, those of a sensitive disposition please beware!
It was a ‘joke’ told at a dinner party I was once unfortunate to attend, here goes, ‘How do you turn a fox into an elephant?’ Marry it! Awful, isn’t it? It went down like a lead balloon at the soiree. The slightly rotund wife of the joke-teller spent the rest of the evening on the verge of tears.
I’ve never forgotten that joke, it rankles with me a bit after many years of marriage, and a figure a lot less foxy than before.
One of the nicest things about marriage and family life, is having lovely meals together. My most animated conversations with my husband these days nearly always involve food, usually what we are having for dinner or what restaurant we should try?
Marriage entails eating a lot of meals together, it can be a very romantic pastime, cooking a special meal, imbibing a cheeky little wine together.
David Beckham claims one of his happiest evenings was watching his wife, Victoria, eating. Posh Spice has consumed the same evening meal of fish and steamed vegetables for the 25 years they have been married.
She follows a very disciplined diet; she detoxes regularly, doesn’t even indulge on her birthday, instead, she has a watermelon carved into the shape of a cake. So, that special evening, when Victoria, pregnant with Harper, reached over and tasted something off David’s plate, stuck in his memory. He described it as, ‘The most amazing thing’.
“Have you ever been amazed by me when we’ve dined together darling?” I asked my other half. “I did get a bit misty-eyed that time I watched you strip a rack of ribs in 60 seconds, that was impressive!” he reminisced. I smiled and felt a warm glow inside. “Ah, good times!” I nodded. Posh puts a lot of time and effort into her appearance, she reportedly spends £663 per month on her beauty routine. No wonder she looks good!
Few non-celebrity mums/wives have that kind of money or time to spend on themselves. When I last visited a beauty salon I was there for almost two hours, and that was just for the estimate! According to research, couples gain 17 pounds within a year of finding love. Statistics show married women in their early 20s gain an average of 24 pounds in the first five years of marriage, men in the same age group gain 30 pounds. Studies revealed marital weight-gain factors include, exercising less, having bigger portions, sofa time spent watching boxsets together, more alcohol - perhaps enjoying a drink together on a Friday night to celebrate the weekend, and less pressure to look good.
Eating decisions can also play a factor. This has been a major reason why I’ve gained pounds after matrimony. Many times, I’ve planned to have a salad, but hubby craves a pizza, since I don’t possess Posh Spice-like self-discipline, I give in and share his junk food. Partner influence plays a significant part in long-term relationship weight-gain. I blame my husband! In saying that, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It took us decades to get up the aisle for various reasons, but I can confirm that marriage is worth the weight!