Jackie McGregor: Yule spot a gift-loving faker if you look for these tell-tale signs

My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to obtain a warm pair of trousers.
Jackie McGregor points out that according to research the riskiest gifts to give are personal items like clothes or jewelleryplaceholder image
Jackie McGregor points out that according to research the riskiest gifts to give are personal items like clothes or jewellery

​This is the mandate given by my elderly relative, who is notoriously hard to buy for and is permanently cold.

Each year I ask her what she’d like for Christmas. I move heaven and earth to locate said item, but no matter how much trouble and expense I go to, she doesn’t like it.

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This gift buying mission has become my yearly quest. Never have I been able to present her with a gift she loves, but something drives me to pursue her approval. I have even recruited the help of friends in my crafting Facebook group this year, so desperate am I to achieve gifting success. Surely between our 20,000 members, we can locate a warm pair of trousers. They must be elasticated waisted, dark in colour, not joggers and not fluffy-lined (after I attempted to flambe her last year with a pair of ski trousers!)

I have purchased several pairs of trews, from sources recommended by the Facebook folk, who now all feel part of the mission. We shall wait with collective baited- breath to see if my warm slacks are graciously received come Christmas.

My relative has no problem letting you know her distain for a gift, but most people try to hide their dislike.

Studies found tell-tales signs of not liking a present include, not making eye contact, repeatedly looking at the door (for an escape route), refusing to touch the gift and even attempting to wrap it up again.

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The study also revealed if someone likes an offering, they will show it to others in the room and hold it up like a trophy.

According to research the riskiest gifts to give are personal items like clothes or jewellery, but chocolate and alcohol remain crowd-pleasers.

Mostly, the Xmas gifts I’ve received have been thoughtful and lovely, apart from one stinker I was given by an ex-boyfriend. I opened the beautifully wrapped gift to uncover a marmalade-coloured, orangutan stuffed toy, (he’d won it from a claw machine!) It was clutching a banana and sporting alarmingly, large nipples. This was accompanied by a regifted chocolate Christmas novelty, which his name had been iced on, but he’d quite clearly picked off! Cue me not being able to meet his eye, a search for the door, refusal to touch the offending objects, then a hasty effort to rewrap them.

I displayed the full gamut of gift-hating signs trying to hide my displeasure (and anger, as he had previously pointed out a pricey watch he liked, and I’d bought for him!)

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Research shows that many unwanted gifts appear on eBay by Boxing Day.

Christmas gift buying can be a difficult task. If there’s something that you’re praying to receive it might be wise to voice your preferences for fear of disappointment, like the little boy staying at his grandparent’s house, who took no chances. At bedtime he and his brother knelt to say their prayers. The boy began shouting at the top of his voice,

“Dear God, I pray for a new bike, I want it more than anything.” His elder brother nudged him and said, “What are you shouting for, God’s not deaf!” “No,” he replied, “but Granny is!”

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