Jackie McGregor: The ex-files: I haven’t gone away you know – escaping Gerry

​This led my friend and I to reminisce about the time she’d found herself in a relationship with someone she’d become disenchanted with. She had tired of him forgetting his wallet, (he was so tight he could peel an orange in his pocket!) and he embellished the truth regularly. When asked what he worked at he told her he was in the Peace Movement (he had a sandwich round!).

One evening he rang and suggested she take him to the cinema.

“We weren’t seeing each other tonight,” she said surprised.

“Yes, but I had a doctor’s appointment, so I had a bath and decided not to waste it!” he replied. Lucky me, she thought rolling her eyes, and just like that, she made him her ex. Here after, she referred to him as, ‘Gerry’, because he kept reappearing in ‘I haven’t gone away you know,’ fashion.

Former relationships can be challenging to move on from, especially for celebrities who experience their breakups and romantic challenges in the public eye. Fantastic Four actor, Ioan Gruffudd, is one public figure who is currently getting the ‘Gerry’ treatment from ex-wife, Alice Evans. Ioan has remarried and is expecting a baby with his new wife, but Evans regularly makes nasty allegations against him publicly. She appears unable to move on.

Research suggests the first one to three weeks after a break-up are the hardest, particularly if you are the dumped partner. According to The Journal of Positive Psychology it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a dating relationship ends. A separate study found it may take 18 months or longer to heal if it’s a marriage break-up.

Studies found being in a new relationship, doesn’t necessarily speed up the fading of this emotional bond. What can promote faster emotional healing is breaking all contact with an ex-partner. This enables people to move on quicker from the relationship, though obviously with shared children, going no contact isn’t always possible, in these cases, setting firm boundaries is recommended to help the healing process.

Peter Andre and Phil Vickery are fans of this no contact variety of bond demolishment, according to their ex-wives.

Katie Price admitted recently on a podcast, that she was sad that she and her ex-husband, Peter Andre, whom have two children together, only communicate through their lawyers and have not spoken directly since their split.

TV presenter Fern Britton says her ex-husband, Phil Vickery, with whom she shares a daughter, stopped speaking to her six years ago.

Although no contact sounds drastic, it’s sometimes the smoothest way through the pain of a shattered romance. In my friend’s experience, she would have preferred maintaining radio silence with ‘Gerry’, but he was incredibly persistent and kept contacting her.

“I know it's over, but I want to stay in touch. What kind of relationship can you see for us now?” he queried.

“Pen pals?” she ventured.