Locked down again: One local family share their experiences

“What gets us through is thinking ‘this time next year..’”, says Jane McEvoy.

Like many families at the moment, the McEvoys are juggling home-schooling, home-working and the colossal change in their normal daily routines.

But, Jane, 49, is determined to focus on the positives.

“Short-term it is so awful, but long term it will be ok.”

Jane, who works in a bank, and her husband Paul, who is employed in insurance, have three children, Patrick, 14, Emma, 12, and Peter, 10 - and, not forgetting, family dog, Mylo.

She said: “Everybody just has to be that extra bit nicer to each other in the house and be a bit more aware of each other’s feelings and not start stupid arguments for the sake of it, because there’s nowhere to. You do learn to choose your battles and keep the peace.

“The weeks are going quickly, even though they seem to be going slow at the time. And there’s bound to be a lot more people worse off than us.”

Like many other families, Covid-19 came directly to the McEvoys’ door and they have had to deal with the chaos it caused.

“My husband Paul had been skiing and came home with coronavirus. It was about a week before the first lockdown in early March.

“He wasn’t that sick, he got a positive test but he just had really bad headaches,” said Jane.

“Then my son Patrick tested positive in September, when he had only been back to school.

“Then Emma went back to school and someone in her class tested positive, so then she was at home for another two weeks. Then they brought half-term forward for a week, so she was in school for four days, then off again for the next two weeks.

“We got pretty used to it (self-isolation) by that stage!”.

Jane and Paul juggled working between home and their workplaces, but try to get the kids out for a walk when they can.

“We live near Ormeau Park so we all go there for a walk at the weekends - even if it’s lashing. You just have to get out and get fresh air.”

And when tempers flare, she believes it’s important to give each other space.

“In the summer, with the better weather, it was easier because you could go outside into the garden, but with the way the weather is at the minute that’s not always possible.”

But she believes her family have adapted to a new rhythm this time round.

“I do think everyone’s a lot calmer, I think you just take things a lot slower.

“If somebody wants to put a movie on, then everyone knows who wants to watch it and who doesn’t’ and we know to give each other space - I think that’s how we are getting round it now.

“Everyone seems to have grown up a lot quite quickly - it’s easier everybody getting on, than when things start getting a bit aggravated.”

Of course, like any parent at the moment, Jane does fret about her children missing out on their activities and social interactions, and whether it will impact on their mental health.

“I do worry about it and you could over-think it.

“You look at them and think they should be out at football, playing games, playing sport on a Saturday.

“On a normal weekend you are that busy running them to different places, to clubs, things you just took for granted and now there’s just nothing - nothing during the week.

“Emma would have gone to Guides, they do it by Zoom now, but it’s just not the same.

“There’s no rugby practice, Peter has no swimming lessons.

“You see that they’ve got used to it, but it’s not used to it in a good way - they are just resigned to this is the way it is.

“The 14-year-old misses going to all the sports stuff and meeting his friends; they just think this is normal now.

“When the shops were open before Christmas it seemed a bit more normal, whereas now that nowhere’s open and it’s (the pandemic) on the news non-stop, which can get a bit much, so we try and shield the kids a bit.”

Jane added: “Before, if school wasn’t on, they could meet their friends in the park or go to each others’ houses. There’s been none of that for so long, “We’re getting to the stage that they’ve all had birthdays, and they’ve all been rubbish - birthdays are such a big thing at their age.”

Jane also highlights the importance of staying connected with friends and family.

“My mum and dad are both 80 and live in Lisburn. We didn’t even see them on Christmas Day. They would always have come to us, but we cancelled it this year just to be safe.

“We call them every Sunday night at 6pm and Facetime. And Paul does the same with his mum, just to check in with them and ringing them every other day to check they are alright. I’m sure there are so many people that haven’t spoken to anyone in weeks.”

When the time is right, the family are looking forward to going on holiday.

“We were supposed to go to Italy last year, but it was cancelled. We thought we would re-book it for this August, but we aren’t booking anything until we know for sure because anything that we had booked last year fell through - that nearly made it worse when it was cancelled because you were expecting to go. “We’ll just wait until the last minute and see what happens, but we definitely talk about holidays and dream about them.”

Like many families of school age children, home-schooling has been a challenge, especially with limited devices on which to do the work.

“The initial ‘I can’t believe we’re off school’ has now turned into ‘what?!’ and when you say to them you’ve probably no school until the end of February, you can’t believe you are actually saying that.”

Stephen Maginn, engagement officer at Relate NI said it is understandable that relationships are under stress at the moment.

He said: “Our relationships are essential foundations to our health and wellbeing. Through our experience of supporting people and their relationships we’ve come to understand that relationships not only give our lives meaning, they are of vital importance to our wellbeing.”

“But relationships are under pressure at the moment.

“A turbulent year and a potentially difficult Christmas may have added financial and other pressures which are beginning to show up in our relationships.

“As we enter the next stage of the pandemic, many of us will be trying to juggle working obligations or home working whilst also overseeing the home-schooling of our children, who are growing restless and beginning to wonder when this will all be over and they can get to see their friends again.”