NI people, including 'Jay the Barber', who grew up in Care share stories of hope
A NI businessman and social media influencer who grew up in Care, was among those who shared their personal stories at a recent Care Day held by the South Eastern Trust.
Jay Millar, known to thousands of his followers as ‘Jay the Barber’ through his business and barber academy, shared his own moving story of growing up in the Care system.
The 43-year-old, who grew up in Rathcoole, went into Care at the age of four. His mother, who was an alcoholic, died when she was just 34 and his father “was never around in those days, but is now”.
“I grew up in Care, foster parents and homes, going through the Care system with my brother Wayne who was knocked down and killed when he was just seven. I was like a bouncy ball. I was everywhere."
Jay joined the army when he was 17 and learned to cut hair.
"Being able to make people feel good meant a lot to me,” said Jay, who is married to Orla and has six children.
But being a teenager in the army on the streets of Belfast was “very hard”.
“I was a boy that was full of trauma, even before I went into the army. Then all of a sudden they were telling you what to do, and obviously that's the way it is, and I’m not putting the army down in anyway, but I was nearly too broken to be in that scenario. But I'm grateful I joined the army because it taught me a lot as well.”
“I bought my first shop in Bloomfield Avenue and now have the Academy and we are teaching 200 people a year. Teaching barbering is a life skill.
Jay went viral on TikTok earlier this year after he was filmed giving a free haircut to a homeless man in Belfast.
However, earlier in his life he admits he did “go off the rails”.
“I think when you go through stuff like I did, it's only inevitable that something's going to happen.”
At one stage he was spending around £1,200 a week on drugs.
“I had a successful business, I was just busy working and partying as hard as I was working. I was on drugs for about five years, on cocaine and all that stuff. And then I went on a course with church and got saved. I go to church now and things are far, far better. I have to give God the glory for what has happened in my life.”
When asked what advice he would give to the young people in the room, Jay said, “Just never give up, have the strength within yourself and think positively. Have an aim, have a vision board and you’ll be surprised at the magic that can happen.”
Jay has written a book about his experiences, Jason to Jay, and there’s a film in the pipeline, but says he’s just happy to be a role model for children and young people who are struggling.
He bought an old 1982 Ulster bus and uses it to do outreach and charity work.
“I want to encourage young ones to have a better outlook and not to make the mistakes that I've made. It's not about making money, for me now, it's if I can make an impact on these young people's lives and let them know there’s a better way, as cheesy as that sounds. I can teach them to barber and I can teach them confidence. I'm just grateful to be here.”
Jay was just one of the stories of hope, inspiration and happiness at Ards Hospital’s Quality and Improvement Centre as young people who have been, or who are being cared for by the South Eastern Trust, celebrated Care Day.
Now in its 10th year, children and young people with lived care experience were recognised for their outstanding achievements in education, sport and commitment to learning.
The Centre was thronged with young people and Trust staff to hear what can be achieved, “when everyone wraps around our young people.”
South Eastern Trust’s Jade Herron shared her experience of growing up through the care system.
“The Trust has so many opportunities for you, it has so much to offer. When I was younger I thought I could do it all by myself but there is help around you and my advice is to take it.
"I got so much support from the Trust’s H.O.P.E (Holistic Outcomes through Positive Experiences) Service programme and I want to help other people. My experiences made me what I am today, I’m really proud of where I’ve come and I really wouldn’t be where I am now without the help of the support services from the Trust,” said Jade.
Director of Children’s Services Lyn Preece explained how Care Day is vital.
“It is really important that we come together and celebrate the achievements of our young people and acknowledge what they do and the support that we give them.”
Assistant director, Leaving Care Services and Cared for Children Marie-Louise Sloan added: “We have 50 young people with us today who are receiving certificates for their wide range of achievements, we are proud of all of our children and young people and are committed to support them and their care giving network.”
“We are grateful to our colleagues, families, community and voluntary partners who help us deliver care and support to our children and young people.
"Today we have partnered with Give and Take, a regional youth charity that supports young people from age 16 to 24, with Springboard, Kings Trust and Madlug whose ethos is underpinned by dignity for children in Care.
“We were delighted to have Jay the Barber here to talk about his experience, his key messages will be influential for our children, young people, families and carers.”