You voted for it: By popular demand, NI Secretary Chris Heaton-Harris posts string of Christmas jokes

On Christmas morning, Chris Heaton-Harris was in full flow in response to his Christmas Eve poll on whether he should bring some festive joy to the Twittersphere with a few ‘crackers’.

At the close of polling, the result was an almost 60/40 split (from 722 votes) in favour of the joke spree.

Announcing the poll, he tweeted: “Just running a short poll to help me decide whether to tweet a bunch of Christmas jokes to help celebrate the season. Those who have followed me for a while will know I tweeted a (terrible) joke a day for years previously. So, should I tweet some jokes or not? Over to you.”

When the votest were in, he posted the message: “Well, slightly based on the poll and more based on the lovely comments… there will be some Christmas jokes throughout the day tomorrow. Usual rules apply - none of the jokes are original and if you are upset by any of them, or a politician tweeting them, please unfollow me!”

And the pick of the bunch…..

Santa hates getting stuck in chimneys. He gets a bit claus-trophobic.

Why is it getting harder each year to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered.

How many letters are there in the Christmas alphabet? 25. No L.

How do you feel when you can't get to your Advent calendar chocolate? Foiled!

What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs? Michael Googlé.

How does Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas? He felt his presence.

Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward.

What carol is most commonly heard in the desert? O’Camel ye faithful…

Heard of Smudge the Brown Nosed Reindeer? He was as quick as Rudolph but couldn’t stop as fast.

Name a dinosaur’s least favourite reindeer? Comet.

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They keep dropping their needles.

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple.