‘I have to forgive his killers every day’ says cleric whose UDR father was shot by IRA 40 years ago this week

Rev Denise Acheson’s father Norman Donaldson, 59, was shot by the IRA as he left Derrygonnelly RUC station on November 25, 1980.

A UDR soldier, he had been collecting money for a hospital charity. His friend, John James Dundas, 65, suffered a fatal heart attack after driving into the murder scene.

Rev Acheson said: “It is really hard to comprehend that it is 40 years ago. The memories are just so crystal clear.”

She was 26 at the time.

”My father was energetic, sociable, very community minded, he was never idle. He had never been unemployed in his life. He was a bit excitable – very outgoing and extroverted.

“We were hearing all the time of local people that we knew being murdered, and yet when it came to your own house, it was sickening, just total devastation.”

Now she is a Church of Ireland minister in north Belfast, where she considers forgiving her father’s killers part of her daily role.

“It is beyond victims to make killers feel remorse but we can control their own emotions. It is not an easy thing. In fact it can take years and years but sometimes people have to find some sort of peace within themselves or they can be stuck at that spot in time and the bitterness can affect their future life.

“You never lose that sense of profound loss but to a certain extent you can learn to live with it and still find joy and hope and purpose in life.”

She says of forgiveness: “To me it is actually a daily journey. Maybe you think you have forgiven and things happen and these old feelings rise up and you literally have to hand them back to God and ask His Spirit of forgiveness to help you on this journey.”

As a Christian she said she has “no option”.

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. The Lord’s Prayer is not to be rolled out once a year or once a month. It has to be rolled out every day.”

Yet she said it is also appropriate for the courts to jail people for their crimes.

“Sometimes the consequences of shooting someone are that you end up serving a prison sentence. So sometimes there are consequences even where there is forgiveness.”

But in her own case she would prefer the killers to know remorse.

“What we hope for is that they would have an understanding of the havoc that they wreaked. Can they answer deep in their hearts – has it all been worthwhile? What has it done to them over their lifetime as they look back?

“The legacy of the Troubles still hangs in the air in north Belfast. There is no doubt about it.

“Underneath that veneer there is a lot of stuff simmering and you think – nobody wants to go back to those days because what did they achieve only pain and sorrow?”

She believes that the Christian message is “without doubt” critical to the future of Northern Ireland.

In a secular age humanity has high aspirations for society, she said. “But forgiveness is beyond our own strength to achieve – we need God’s help to hang in there.”

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