‘Welcomed with open arms’: mum finds hope after losing daughter
A mother whose teenage daughter died almost six years ago, has spoken about the impact of attending a support group which helps families who have lost a child.
Sandra Larmour from Newtownhamilton in Co Armagh said that taking the step to attend an Anam Cara meeting was like being welcomed with open arms into a place where people fully understood her grief after losing her daughter Jeni, 18, in October 2020.
She was speaking in advance of two free bereavement information events being hosted by the all-island charity in Belfast on April 21 and 22, aimed at bereaved parents and professionals working with bereaved families.
She explained that her daughter Jeni had just begun an architecture degree at Newcastle University when she died after taking drugs given to her on her first night at university.
“Jeni had the most incredible laugh. She had lots of friends and was involved in everything. Her plan was to change the world and she would have done it,” she said.
Ms Larmour, who works in HR and is also mum to Daniel, 22, said life as she knew it stopped the moment she got the call from police.
And she told how attending Anam Cara bereavement support group meetings helped her realise she wasn’t alone. “There are other parents who don’t have the same story but the same outcome,” she said. “I had felt so alone, that I couldn’t bother people who can’t understand. In that room, with other parents, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell your story; people will always listen.
“They know that times like Christmas, New Year, your birthday and your child’s birthday will be hard days.
“What you get back is invaluable. There’s always welcoming arms,” said Ms Larmour, who is now a volunteer parent with Anam Cara in Armagh.
Renowned psychotherapist and president of the Irish Childhood Bereavement Network, Brid Carroll, will be the guest speaker at the two free Belfast bereavement information events run by Anam Cara in conjunction with Cruse Bereavement Support, NI Children’s Hospice and Cancer Fund for Children.
The first, at 7pm on April 21 in the Crowne Plaza Hotel, is for parents, while the second at 10am the following morning, April 22, is for professionals who work with bereaved families. “At Anam Cara, we know that the death of a child changes everything in a parent’s world,” said Anam Cara CEO, Michelle Reynolds. “The grief is lifelong and unique and it can feel very isolating, especially when those around you may not fully understand.
“That is why specialised bereavement support is so vital.
"These upcoming events in Belfast are a chance for parents to find information, comfort and connection in a safe space, where their loss is acknowledged and their child is remembered.”
“They also provide a forum for professionals helping families navigate the bereavement journey,” Ms Reynolds said.
l To book to attend the events visit www.eventbrite.ie/e/anam-cara-bereavement-information-evening-for-parents-tickets