Doug Beattie: ‘Accidentally shooting my childhood friend was a life-changing incident’

In a remarkably candid interview touching on issues of class, upbringing and mental health, the Upper Bann MLA said the accidental shooting was a “life changing” incident.

Speaking to interviewer Stephen Nolan on BBC Radio Ulster this morning, Mr Beattie said the incident happened when he was 15-years-old.

“Life was difficult,” he said of his teenage years. “My mother died when I was 14, my father turned to alchohol to deal with his grief, but that did not hold me back.

“It was devastating and we came from a very old fashioned family. My father was the breadwinner, he was very aloof with his kids and he would never hug a child, tell me he loved me or anything like that, so the mother was really the home maker.

“That’s the way it was in those days. I’m not trying to pull anybody’s heart strings, but when my father died I was sitting by his bedside. He had lost his throat to cancer and he couldn’t speak. But he had a small notebook and he wrote that he loved me in a notebook and handed it to me before he passed away. That was very moving.”

He continued: “I got myself in trouble with the police which I know shamed my father to a certain degree. I know I’ll get criticism for this but I’m more than happy to be very open. My father was in the Ulster Defence Regiment, having left the Royal Ulster Rifles. I found his off-duty personal protection weapon and accidentally shot my best friend in the face. That was a difficult time. It still affects me today. I knew my father was ashamed of me by those actions. It was purely accidental but you can see how that was shaming. I would have just turned 15.

Asked by interviewer Stephen Nolan how he shot his friend accidentally, Mr Beattie replied: “Typical 15-year-old, inquisitve young lad who wanted to show off in front of his friend, pointed it at his friend, pulled the trigger and shot him in the face. He is still my friend, I’ve got to say. I still see him in Portadown every now and again and we still talk about it.

“The bullet went in just to the side of his mouth and came out just to the side of his neck. It was very lucky that it didn’t strike bone, damage any bone or anything like that. You can imagine being shot point blank in the face is not ever going to be a nice experience for him and it wasn’t for me. Even now, I’ve got to say I cringe a little bit sitting here and I’m a little uncomfortable speaking to you about it. But it happened and there is no point in me hiding from it. “

Asked if the accidental shooting was a ‘life-changing’ incident for Mr Beattie, he replied: “It is and I could talk all day about this. I guess the mental blocks that I have in life now maybe will stem from that and that period of my mother dying and that incident happening, the reaction by my father and everything that went with it has all affected my life and has tainted me in a particular way.”

Asked if that incident had ‘messed him up’ in any way, Mr Beattie said: “Just because I’ve said that I’m uncomfortable talking about it doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it.

“I’m uncomfortable because it brings back strong memories from that time. It just so happens that I’m now 53 years of age and my life has been overtaken with multiple traumatic events. It slides into that same scale with all the other traumatic events that I’ve been involved in over many years.

“But yes, it clearly still affects me. I absolutely can see any issues that I have and some of the mental health issues that I may well have, could well be rooted back to that period of life with the death of my mother and that particular incident.”

He continued: “I find myself, as many people do, suffering from mental health issues. I’ve had a long career in the military and lots of things have happened to me within that military sphere. I do not have PTSD and one of the reasons I do not is because I will not allow myself to be labelled in any shape or form. But the reality is that I do struggle at times with mental health issues which could stem well back from my teens. Some of it is clearly depression and depression is really hard to identify. Sometimes you say to yourself ‘Doug are yu just feeling sad today or are you depressed?’ Sometimes if somebody else is not talking to you or analysing you it is difficult to analyse yourself.

“I’m not self-diagnosing myself.”

He added: “I never use the term flashback but I can look back on my life and there are moments in my life where I can still see it, I can still smell it, I can still hear it. It’s all still live with me and it makes me uncomfortable, it makes me sad and it brings on those periods of time where I’m not necessarily the best person to be with.”