Video: 'The journey of grief is something very, very special' says father-of-seven whose young wife Zipporah Branagan died 21 weeks ago
A local father-of-seven whose wife died suddenly has spoken of how sharing his story of “grief" has helped himself and others.
Bernard Branagan’s wife Zipporah died suddenly 21 weeks ago.
She was only in her 30s and was "the most encouraging person that you ever come across".
Mr Branagan, from Hilltown in Co Down said that the loss had also brought an outpouring of kindness from all communities in Northern Ireland.
He said he has been extended friendship from his local Presbyterian church to his GAA (Gaelic Athletic Association) club.
His speaking out recently on social media comes as Alliance MLA Nick Mathison submitted questions to the education minister calling for grief education to become a formal part of the school curriculum.
Individual schools have their own grief counselling schemes, but the subject is not part of the curriculum as it now is in England.
Zipporah was mother to Noah, Theo, Teddy, Isaac, Hugo, Ezra and baby Cooper, who was born last year.
Mr Branagan said grief is something that he has had to navigate with the couple's seven sons.
"Zipporah was the centre of my life and the centre of seven wee boys, and to lose her... to leave this emptiness behind, it leaves us all absolutely broken, and I'm lost," Mr Branagan told BBC Good Morning Ulster.
"I think she's given me a strength to help others."
He said Zipporah was an incredibly caring person, who had dropped out of school in lower sixth to care for her mother.
"Our house is surrounded with pictures of her," he said. "I cry every night and most mornings. I cry in front of the boys because it's good for them to see me being emotional.
"Sometimes, as males, we try to be super strong and we aren't - we are as weak as everyone else."
He told the programme his whole community has helped him and his family in the days and weeks since.
"I'm Catholic-born and and involved in the GAA, but my local Presbyterian church has been unbelievable towards me and my family.
"In death, people come together and you see the best in people, and I have seen the best in both sides of our community.
"I really think we live in a special place.
"The local women from the Presbyterian church came with food and stuff for the children.
"The GAA community has also been amazing.
"I don't know how I'll thank people and if I can't thank everyone I want to help others, and maybe that'll be my thanks."
Twenty one weeks on from her death and the family have not got any answers as to the cause of Zipporah's death.
"I don't know the reason this happened and I might never know," he said.
Alliance MLA Nick Mathison has submitted questions to the education minister calling for grief and bereavement to become a formal part of the school curriculum.
"Good grief education can act as a strong protective factor when children later experience bereavement," Mr Mathison said.
"It is vital that the right support is available for our children – nowhere is this more important than in our schools."
In a statement, a Department for Education spokesperson said that schools have pastoral care policies and structures in place "so that children and young people know who they can contact if they require support, for a range of reasons, including bereavement".
It added an Education Authority programme Being Well Doing Well is designed to help students with emotional health and wellbeing, and provides bereavement professional learning for teachers.
In the curriculum, the spokesperson added, there are personal development resources at both a primary and post-primary level "which address grief, loss and bereavement".
And in another emotional video, posted later today, the grieving father says: ‘The messages I have received in the last two weeks after putting up my last video has been nothing only amazing’.
He added: ‘I got lovely messages from so many people saying my words has helped them – from men and woman, it has been totally incredible.
‘The journey of grief is something very, very special,’ he added.
‘Grief is not depression, something totally different.
‘Grief is something that we are longing for, something that is missing in the future and it is a very special thing because no-one else can grieve the way an individual grieves about another.
‘I have been asked to talk more about grief and I probably will do a few more video’s and it hopefully helps people.
‘And if I stop getting the messages to say that I am helping I will stop, but at the minute there have been 300+ messages from people and it has been incredible for people to reach out - and I feel I can help people’.
He said that speaking about his journey through grief ‘is helping me feel a little bit better, if I ever feel better, the loss will also be there’.
Mr Branagan added that ‘people need to realise grief is a very special thing and it hurts so much as it floors you and it is incredible to be able to help’.
‘I am so early on my journey and people have told me they want to follow my journey so I’ll keep you informed of how I am getting on and the boys are getting on,’ he said.
But I want to say thanks to everyone for the kind messages and everything you have done so far for me and my boys.