Jackie McGregor: Surviving the digital firing squad: sage words for a noisy age
"Don’t do it missus – delete, delete!" I yelled at the screen as I read a woman’s comment on social media. It was about the changes being made to Strictly when it returns later this year.
She commented: “I don’t care for the Halloween show.”
I waited for the pile-on. I assumed from her wording she was an older lady, looking for connection with like-minded people about the dance show. Others had commented they loved the spooky themed episodes. It was like watching a gazelle stumble into the lion’s den. “Don’t watch it then!” replied a silver-tongued charmer. “There’s an off button, use it!” commented another.
I could envisage “Don’t care for Halloween” lady clutching her pearls as the onslaught of mean remarks continued. “I warned you!” I sighed, shaking my head. Instead of staying quiet, she frantically backpedalled.
“I meant no harm,” she replied, it was as though Jane Austen had wandered onto the online platform from the Regency period. She apologised profusely for any offence caused. On the internet an apology is often seen as a sign of weakness, which, sadly, usually invites more piling on. Smelling blood, the digital herd circled.
“Stop trying to police what people enjoy,” came another caustic comment.
“Who asked you? No one cares!” someone scoffed.
“You’re still going to watch it, so your opinion is literally irrelevant,” mocked another.
I couldn’t bear to witness this genteel soul be lambasted any longer. I scrolled on. She made the classic mistake of engaging with the digital firing squad when she should have forever held her peace. I learned this the hard way after stupidly engaging with a troll once; the situation turned so nasty it required police involvement. The Masked Singer judge, Maya Jama, also broke the golden rule of the digital age: never engage, when she recently decided to tackle a troll who criticised her looks.
It’s surprising that such a media-savvy, showbiz professional would be so foolish as to engage with a digital heckler. The comment must have ruffled her ego. A troll referred to her freshly posted bikini photos and claimed: “I’ll never understand people saying she’s peng.” (Peng is modern slang meaning, very attractive.) Consequently, Maya was affronted by not being judged the fairest in all the land, and shots were fired.
She retaliated and got into a spat mockingly suggesting the commenter had probably never had a romantic relationship. When he countered that he was in fact, a father of four, Maya suggested he should take his kids to the park for some fresh air rather than spending his time online.
Trolls aren’t looking for a nuanced debate; they are simply seeking a reaction; someone’s distress is like a trophy to them. It proves to them they have power over you; it’s like handing them the remote control to your mood. By replying to his remarks Maya gave him the spotlight and attention he craved. Responding to hostile comments can escalate a situation quickly, inviting more venom. The internet thrives on noise; it feeds on the friction of the “clapback.” For a celebrity like Maya, silence is the ultimate weapon against hecklers.
She should heed the advice of that great 20th century sage Keating, who uttered the profoundly meaningful words: “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”