Jackie McGregor: The platitude plague - it's good to talk, but not like a fortune cookie!
“You teach people what’s acceptable by what you accept,” chided my friend over the phone.
“Thank you, Sensei, I’ll have that embroidered on a cushion,” I sighed.
She was offering advice because I’m constantly letting someone fob me off with excuses as to why he hasn’t completed a job I’m paying him to do. He repeatedly informs me, “It is what it is,” which I find infuriating, what does that even mean?
Conversations today are becoming increasingly populated with buzz phrases like, ‘speaking your truth’, and ‘controlling the narrative’. There seems to be trendy, new words/phrases for everything.
I recently heard two young women discussing how they were sick of ‘mankeeping’, they decided they were taking a break from relationships as ‘mankeeping’, is too demanding. Curious, I searched the term and revealed that it refers to women providing increased emotional support to men, as men are reportedly finding it difficult to find such support, due to what is described as a male friendship recession.
Is this not simply a case of supporting someone you care about when they most need it? Why rebrand this nurture as an unpleasantly named job?
Feeling stressed, I tore the paper off a Snickers bar and was ready to devour it when my son appeared. He tutted disapprovingly,
“This morning you said no more junk food Mum,” he admonished.
“I’m starting tomorrow,” I nodded.
“Think of it like this, it can be one day or day one!” he offered sagely.
“Not you too, Grasshopper!” I blustered, “Why is everyone talking like a fortune cookie?”
A prominent figure in empowering phrases and bite-sized, self-help nuggets is Mel Robbins whose, ‘Let Them’, mantra has recently gained popularity. She’s made global talk show appearances, plugging her book, cleverly entitled, ‘The Let Them Theory’.
The premise is, if your friends don’t invite you to lunch, let them! Just let people do whatever they want to do, don’t try to control things going on outside of you, just focus on yourself.
Robbins attempted to trademark the ‘let them’ phrase without crediting Cassie Phillips, who first introduced the idea in a viral poem.
Though this concept of finding peace when facing adversity was explored poetically by Reinhold Niebuhr in the Serenity Prayer written in 1932, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” but if Mel Robbins wants to claim ownership of this concept, let her! (I think I’m getting the hang of this!).
Spewing platitudes prevents us from conversing on a deeper level, discouraging us from critical thinking and genuine, self-expression.
Becoming used to this language of ready-to-wear phrases may lead us away from introspection and soul-searching talks. Confronting difficult issues can force us to improve communication, though with honest speech, not superficial jargon.
Tough conversations can act as a catalyst to positive change, remember, without rain there can be no flowers. (Doh! Now I’m doing it, pardon my platitude!)