Is something worrying your child? The everyday changes that could signal bullying

From disrupted sleep to distress after a message, an education expert explains what parents can notice and how to start a reassuring conversation.

When a child starts complaining of a sore tummy before school or becomes unusually quiet at home, parents can find themselves wondering what is behind the change.

Children do not always have the words or confidence to explain that someone is making them unhappy. Sometimes, the first indication comes through their routines, friendships or relationship with their phone.

Ahead of Anti-Bullying Week, running from November 16 to 20, Charlotte Gater, Head of Education at Explore Learning, shares practical advice for parents and carers.

The starting point is to notice changes without jumping to conclusions, then give children the time and reassurance they need to talk.

Look at the pattern, rather than one difficult day

A restless night or an argument with a friend does not necessarily indicate bullying. A persistent change in how a child behaves, however, is worth exploring.

Experts at Explore Learning highlight reluctance to attend school, changes in eating or sleeping habits and unexplained damage to possessions as possible reasons for concern.

Parents might also notice repeated requests for extra money or a child becoming less interested in activities they previously enjoyed.

Headaches and stomach aches can occur when children are distressed, but they also have many other causes. Seek medical advice for symptoms that persist or cause concern rather than assuming they are linked to school.

Ask how life online feels

Messages, social media and games can allow bullying to continue after the school day has ended.

A child may become upset after looking at their phone, stop joining an online activity or seem nervous whenever a message arrives.

Charlotte also advises noticing changes such as hiding screens or quickly switching tabs. These behaviours should be considered alongside the wider picture: privacy alone is not evidence of bullying.

A useful opening can be to ask what they enjoy about an app or game, followed by whether anything about it makes them uncomfortable.

Make talking part of the ordinary day

The easiest conversation may happen while walking the dog, preparing a snack or travelling home.

Small, specific questions can feel more manageable than asking a child to explain everything at once. Ask who they played with, whether anything surprised them or what they would change about their day.

Explore Learning recommends listening without judgement and keeping these conversations regular, including when things appear to be going well.

Reassure children that telling a trusted adult about bullying is asking for help, rather than telling tales.

Let them finish before offering solutions

Parents may feel angry or upset when they learn that their child has been hurt. Listening calmly can help a child feel safe enough to keep talking.

Thank them for telling you, explain that the bullying is not their fault and ask what they fear might happen next.

Discuss how you will help and involve them in the next steps where possible. Do not promise complete secrecy if another adult needs to support them.

Keep a record of what has happened and contact the school or relevant organisation. Agree what action will be taken and when you will review whether it is helping.

Protect their confidence and connections

A difficult experience at school can begin to overshadow the things a child likes about themselves.

Charlotte recommends encouraging their interests and strengths, whether through music, sport, art or another enjoyable activity.

Time with a supportive friend or relative can also provide a welcome sense of belonging. These experiences should complement action to stop the bullying, rather than leave a child responsible for coping alone.

Work together on online safety

Help your child understand privacy settings and practise how to block and report abusive behaviour.

Where appropriate, save screenshots of bullying messages before reporting them. A record can help when discussing concerns with a school or online platform.

Make sure your child knows whom they can approach for support and that telling you about an upsetting experience will lead to a conversation about how to help.

Further advice is available in Explore Learning’s guide to dealing with cyberbullying as a parent or carer.

Be ready to address unkind behaviour too

Parents who are concerned that their child may be bullying someone else should take the issue seriously while keeping the conversation calm.

Explore Learning recommends clear expectations, discussing the impact of specific actions and helping children consider another person’s feelings.

Work with the school on a consistent approach and seek additional support if the behaviour persists.

“It’s vital that we equip our children with the tools to navigate challenging social situations, both online and offline,” Charlotte says.

For more information about its educational support, visit www.explorelearning.co.uk