Jackie McGregor: Love at first byte: Stepford Wives and ‘bots’ – love in the 21st century

Romance in the 21st century has changed, it’s no longer exclusively between homosapiens.

According to research, since early 2026, one-third of people in the UK have chosen Artificial Intelligence as their romantic sweetheart.

Of regular users of AI companion apps, 10% report having had intimate interactions with their digital darlings. How? - I don’t know, but I wish I could stop the mental pictures!

In a study to measure how cyber-intimacy is replacing traditional human relationships, the platform EVA AI surveyed 2000 men in 2025 and found 81% confirmed they would consider marrying an AI girlfriend if it were legally recognised, and 75% would like to make a replica of their real-life partner but with their flaws removed.

Yikes! We’re entering Stepford Wives territory. (Women weren’t surveyed as the research was conducted by an “AI girlfriend” platform.)

Although women are generally more sceptical of AI companions, there is a growing trend of younger women who have grown up in the digital age, turning to cyber boyfriends.

According to studies the sexes appear to want different things from these ‘bots’. Men seek fantasy women who are passive, whereas women want a listening ear and validation for their thoughts.

An AI partner is programmed to please. It’s designed to be a “frictionless” companion. It listens to your tone, perspective, analyses your data and replicates you, becoming a digital reflection of yourself.

AI agrees with and validates the user and doesn’t challenge their flaws as ‘loyalty’ is coded as their default.

Bots mirror yourself back to you.

Falling under the AI spell can be likened to the tale of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection in a pond.

He became so self-obsessed he wasted away because he couldn’t bear to leave his own image to find food. A form of malnutrition may also be experienced by those with AI lovers.

They may emotionally starve in their self-obsessed echo chamber with their ‘yes-man’ chatbot agreeing with all they say.

Humans need the friction of another soul to help them grow emotionally and teach them lessons about themselves that faceless people-pleasing chatbots can’t.

Narcissus chose his idealised self over real connection, missing out on a partner who could offer honest feedback and influence.

Love among humans is unpredictable, intense, painful, delightful, and above all, opens us up to hurt.

In a love affair with another human, we are at our most vulnerable. People share their dreams, hopes and fears in a relationship. Lovers encounter us in all our brokenness, and we see them in theirs.

The friction in a relationship with another person helps us to grow; to develop empathy, patience and resilience, it makes us vulnerable.

AI would see any vulnerability as a security flaw but in human love vulnerability is what makes love stronger.

Human love can be risky, it’s also optional, unlike AI which cannot switch off, people can.

When someone truly sees you, flaws and all and still wants you, when they choose not to walk away no matter what, that’s real validation.

True love is a bridge that forms between two imperfect souls that AI can’t replicate. Yet.

Plus, they can’t put the bins out.