Jackie McGregor: A whiff of scandal: Listening in on Big Beryl’s Steak‑Gate drama

“Then sent it back three times. Imagine! We were all sitting there mortified. She thinks she’s great since she got off with yer man”, said the woman at the next table in the café.

I wasn’t eavesdropping (actually, I was, it’s one of my favourite pastimes). In my defence, they were talking very loudly, and I couldn’t help but overhear.

“It would take her to mind herself; she’s got some nerve going after a married man,” said one lady sniffily.

“Let’s face it, Big Beryl was never known for the strength of her knicker elastic. She wouldn’t be interested in that auld fella if he wasn’t loaded. His wife will see her off, she’s put as much into building that business as he has,” commented another.

‘“Well, you know what they say, behind every successful man is a woman … and behind her is his wife!” they all laughed.

The chat was coming thick and fast; I was a bit envious of the fun they were having. My dining companion spent most of lunch texting her partner, rating what we’d just eaten and reporting whether we might order another coffee. I’d much rather have been ‘spilling the tea’- as the younger generation calls it - and hearing more tales of Big Beryl of the weak waistband.

My mother used to warn me; “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” But I love a whiff of scandal.

According to psychologists, tittle-tattle has been essential through the ages. In bygone times, humans survived through word-of-mouth news. Sharing tales of who was trustworthy and who was a bit dodgy, helped form social bonds and put in place warnings about who to avoid. It also gives our brains a hit of the feel-good chemical, dopamine.

Our love of juicy stories explains why we devour gossip magazines and tell-all autobiographies. I, for one, am positively gagging to get my hands on former Strictly professional dancer Giovanni Pernice’s recent memoir, in which he dishes the dirt on his almost career-ending dance partnership with actress Amanda Abbington.

He also shares backstage secrets about the pros drinking before live shows and having horrific rows, which sounds a world away from the so-called family atmosphere they labour to promote, and exactly the revelations I want to read for my money.

It’s exciting getting the inside scoop, but there’s a fine line between harmless nosiness and maliciousness. Sometimes the tea can boil over. Look at the fallout surrounding the internet forum, Tattle Life. The site’s anonymous operator was sued by a Northern Ireland couple over defamatory posts. The pair were awarded £300,000 in damages but, dramatically, their money was withdrawn over a procedural error, prompting an appeal.

It serves as a stark reminder of how things can spiral when gossip goes too far.

Though we're urged to keep things kind, our ears prick up when dirt is dished, whether overheard in a café or online - it’s a guilty pleasure. A bit of drama brightens the day, and few can resist tales of scarlet women, yo-yo undies or drunken catfights

As writer, Alice Roosevelt Longworth famously quipped: “If you can’t say something nice, come sit next to me.”