Jackie McGregor: Lady Londonderry - The original Spice Girl and her secret snake tattoo
I bet she lives to regret that, I thought to myself on reading that Loose Women star Coleen Nolan has tattooed herself in tribute to new beau, Ryan - a man she has known a matter of months.
She has had an ‘R’ with a heart inscribed permanently on her skin and the inscription, “until the end” (which probably won’t be long), in dedication to him.
Hopefully, I’m wrong and they’ll go the distance, but it’s far more likely she’ll soon be altering it to “until the end of the pier,” in tribute to her Blackpool roots when love’s young dream inevitably shatters.
Call me an old cynic, but we’ve seen it all before. Johnny Depp fell madly in love with Winona Rider and had Winona Forever emblazoned on his arm, which he later changed to ‘Wino Forever’, when the relationship hit the rocks.
Pamela Anderson, when married to Tommy Lee, had his name inked onto her wedding finger. They wed on a beach in Mexico after knowing each other just four days. When they divorced three years and two children later, Pammie had his name turned into the word ‘Mommy’ instead.
You’d think you’d be safe enough having references to your mum engraved on your epidermis - not if you’re Brooklyn Beckham. He had ‘Mamma’s Boy’ inscribed on his chest until he got married and became estranged from his birth family - he’s now reportedly had it covered over with a replica of his wife’s bridal bouquet.
Redesigning a tat is much less painful than having it lasered off, according to my friend who asked me to go with her to have an ex’s name removed from her wrist. I hadn’t expected to be in the treatment room with her. Both of us had to don dark glasses. We sat there like the Blues Brothers as she screamed in pain. She never went back for the required sessions.
Tattoos may feel like a modern trend. I first noticed them becoming commonplace among women when the Spice Girls burst onto the scene, but a woman well ahead of her time was our own Edith, Lady Londonderry, who lived in and created the legendary gardens at Mount Stewart Estate.
Edith lived by her own non-conformist rules, long before Girl Power came into the mainstream, Edith was the original rebellious spicy girl.
While holidaying in Japan in 1899, she got herself a tattoo: a snake that wound its way from her ankle up around her leg. It was a souvenir of her second honeymoon in India, usually hidden beneath her long Victorian skirts.
What Edith couldn’t have seen coming, though, was the arrival of shorter hemlines in the 1920s and 30s. She caused a sensation wherever she went when folks caught a glimpse of her viper.
The problem with inking is people are convinced their feelings and circumstances are never going to change. They believe the romance will never die, that family bonds will remain unchanged, but life moves on, people drift, and those with tattoos are often left with a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.
Good luck to Coleen Nolan and her latest squeeze. Hopefully, their romance will make it to the end of the line rather than the end of the pier, but if it doesn’t … tat’s life!